Motor Clumsiness Getting Me Down

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As long as I can remember I've always had issues with my motor skills. I couldn't master cutting a piece of steak until I was in middle school, and I'm still not as smooth as everyone else at the table. I've always been behind my peers even in the simplest physical games. Now that I'm an adult I either avoid these tasks or seclude myself before doing them, so I can take as long as I need to. It never occurred to me until yesterday that my clumsiness could be horribly harmful.

My niece was born just a few days ago, so I went to the hospital yesterday to visit my sister and her new baby. I tried to hold the child, but I did it all wrong, and her arm got positioned in a weird way. Four other family members were in the room with me, so I tried to adjust her without drawing any attention and almost dropped her. EVERYONE noticed, and my sister's husband was understandably furious.

I hated myself all day. I guess that this is a pretty good sign that I should never have any kids, as I'm likely to accidentally kill them before they even leave the hospital.

I don't see it as your fault. You tried your best. When my daughter was a baby, I closely monitored anyone near her. It is too bad the father was furious. They should have been ready to help you.

Sounds like you are lacking in executive functioning skills, like many other people with autism.

I've had similar problems when I was younger. Now as an adult I am a lot better. The only way to improve on this is to practice with physical activity, through lots of trial and error you build the necessary muscle memory in your body.

I really know how this feels; having issues with my own (lack of) motor skills causing frustration-induced meltdowns.

Some days, I can park my car in the tightest of spots and other days, I cannot judge any distance outside the vehicle whatsoever and parking within and between the lines of a car space in a parking lot becomes a logistical nightmare (#thestruggleisreal).

I also have a tendency to knock things over when I reach for them and talk about 'selective vision'...I mean something I am looking for can be right in front of me, but because there are a lot of different things that are also right in front of me in that same area, I cannot 'see' it...it's like I need binoculars to find a certain brand of spaghetti on the supermarket shelf...

Then, I go through the checkout and forget one of the bags of groceries....go to put it in my car I thought I had parked in the downstairs lot, but I parked it upstairs...

At the end of all that, I start stimming bad.

I managed to give birth to and raise 2 girls though...

Handling babies is more of a 'confidence' thing. If you think you are going to 'hurt' or 'break' them, you start to overcompensate in your handling of babies and goof up.

It's a very common thing, to be that scared of doing something wrong, that you actually do it and this isn't limited to Aspie's sufferers...many people in general can't or do not know how to hold a baby...it's better if you are seated at first and the babe is placed in your lap.

Last edited by SoMissunderstood on 07 Jun 2014, 12:28 pm, edited 3 times in total.