mistakes

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Hey Everyone,

I was wondering if you could help me with overcoming a huge mistake, and moving on.
We all need attachement figures in our lives, someone to share emotions and stuff. My ex-girlfriend aand I were having a long distance relationship, and whenever we were apart for too long, my attachement figure changed from her to someone else in my immediate surrounding. I broke up twice. The second time final. I guess. It was a very stressful situation for both of us, individually,, and as we couldn't help each other in the difficult times we were facing, and so I turned towards other people for stability. I lost all hope in the possibility of a future for me and my ex-girlfriend, as I couldn't see things changing for the better for us. After the breakup, I began a relationship with the new woman, which had become my new attachemnet figure -mainly because she was just there..-, who wasn't suited for me (very much the opposite of ASD). That fell apart quickly, and since then, I'm left without someone to talk to.
My ex in the meantime found refuge with an old friend of mine, they started a thing with each other, and it seems somewhat stable.
Now I learned from that how important attachment figures are for me (and her), and how important it can be to stay with the one I have (if I have one), and to work harder on getting through stressful and decisive periods, because the other option can, for someone like me, end in disaster.
With that lesson learned, I'm still having trouble forgiving myself. Why could I have not predicted this. It had happened before, but I was smart enough to get back to my ex, who was suited for me, at the end we had been together for 8 years.

So I found my mistake, accept the lesson. But how do I forgive myself?
it's been over a year and a half, and I still wish I could have been more stable in this stressful period.

I don't see that you've done anything that you need forgiveness for. What is it that you need forgiveness for?

I understand you feel empty.

The only solution, really, is to move on, and to pursue new avenues.

well, I rationalized the situation at a time at which I was feeling horrible, and came to the wrong conclusion.
What I need forgiveness for, from myself, is having destroyed a relationship I was happy in for most of the time, and plans for a future life, just like that.

I made a mistake, it was my fault and there is no one else to blame. I know I need to move on. But I'm having trouble of letting it go, and my mind is obsessing about this when I try to fall asleep. I.e., when I'm vulnerable to rumination.

I feel that way sometimes. I've made similar mistakes. I've done enough rumination by chewing the cud of an entire pasture.

It's good that you're not in denial--but the only sensible advice, really, is to pursue other avenues, while learning from what occurred previously.

so the question should be: how to stop ruminating? any advice, except for'moving on' (I understood that part, consciously.)