getting over abuse and phobias.. tips?

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I was abused over a year ago by a guy who was also autistic. It was mainly sexual and emotional. Recently my friend sent a letter i wrote to him to him and i told her not to show me what he said. I would like to tell my mom about the letter being sent but I'm afraid she will get angry with me. I have androphobia (it is the phobia of men but mine is more geared to ages 16-18) from that abuse and i never know what to when i'm around groups of men. last night i had a panic attack in a skype call with my friends because one of them kept adding men and i was very very scared and i told them about it a while ago but it is being ignored and i'm not sure what to tell my friends. what do i do?

Counseling from a therapist who is familiar with the effects of trauma. Perhaps there is an organization near where you live that helps people who have been sexually assaulted. They might be able to help you find a good therapist.

Sorry you had to go through that man. Nobody should have to experience something like that.

Why would your mom get angry at you? It's good that you wrote a letter, that's a good way to deal with the pain. You did good!

Tell them you don't like that. Think of yourself first. If they keep doing stuff like this they aren't really your friends.

I need to talk about it to my therapist more i guess but really im scared to because talking about it verbally for me is hard.
it was both of my parents.. mainly because i hid for so long. it would have been a year last October. its been a year since we got caught..
I HAVE and its very very hard. one of my friends is one but i trust him because i know hes not going to hurt me