I knew I shouldn't have said things were ok......

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I spoke too soon it seems. DH got laid off the other day. The good company he worked for has no work, so they laid him, a Mexican guy and a regular guy off. Regular guy doesn't mean something racist, it means this guy worked there regular a long time and DH and the Mexican guys were fairly new there. So now I'm back in the same leaky boat trying to navigate down s**t creek.

Also, I'm upset that I'm FIFTY YEARS OLD with nothing to show for it really. Well, I have some kids, some scars, and an arrest record but that's about it. I've worked places, but never had a career. My life didn't turn out like I thought at all. Not at all. And let's be honest, I've probably only got about twenty years left, so there isn't that much you can do with that amount of time in the physical shape I'll be in before that's over. The being old thing hit me all at once.

I honestly thought that by fifty I wouldn't be living like we did when we first got married. Paycheck to paycheck, him getting laid off and me scrambling to find him more work. We have no retirement coming. None. His SS won't be much and I doubt I'll get any. f**k. I wasted my damn life.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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