that does it

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nevermind no one cares anyways, I am just stupid with a stupid life and stupid problems that suck so whatever idk. didn't feel like leaving up a post with 1-0 views to feel more pathetic about no one caring at all so yeah. Sorry for wasting anyones time.

responding to myself, probably will kill myself at some point here, just waiting for the right time I guess, but life sucks, humanity sucks there is nothing left so screw it all, i don't even know anymore.....but I do know I am frustrated and kind of angry.

Hi Sweetleaf, Im not up for much at the moment, I agree with you on the 'everything sucks' though.

thank you, its just bs, I mean it dosent even matter what I am mad about, its that I am angry, afraid and all this crap all the time and it sucks. My dads in jail now my moms a narcissist and f*** i don't know what to do with my life currently on ssi income though,

Yeah, always battling something and then all the regular life stuff too, its sorta exhausting...
I dunno what to do with my life either. Im beginning to suspect that Im on a metaphorical merry go round named 'you make plans and life happens'

Ok, i see now, I didnt read the original post, but I reckoned it must of been significant.
That definately sucks about your dad, it is awful that you are going through all of this. Given the circumstances, if your mum likes dogs she could accomodate them on a temporary basis, giving you time to process this without having to worry immediately about rehoming them.

That's rough that your dad is in jail.

And not just because you have to feed his dogs.

I get the impression that he was a positive emotional influence in your life, and an antedote to the stress of living with your mom.

Don't know what to say, but to just hang in there until his legal situation settles out, and you all can figure out what the next step is.

I saw your post the other night. Sorry to hear about your dad, I'm not sure what his deal is but where I grew up we didn't think too highly of snitches regardless. If I knew who ratted me out it would be hard to resist retaliating in some futile little way just for your own piece of mind, I get it. I don't recommend it obviously but it is what it is.

Life really does seem like a Sisyphean task, you're battling one struggle in life only to spring a leak somewhere else and end up feeling worse than before. Something always goes wrong, something is always fowl, some s**t sandwich is always being prepared to be served up to you. It sucks, I don't know how to deal with it much better than you do. Just keep grinding, keep putting up with these little bullshits, distract yourself and find happiness in whatever little thing you can to get by. I know for myself big change is needed which is stressful and scary but at the same time I realize I don't have much to lose really and you might as well go down swinging. What other options do you really have?

Are you smoking alot of pot/drinking alcohol? I know from living with people who smoke alot that it can make them incredibly depressed. It often creeps up on you so you dont realise it and because pot provides temporary relief it becomes a reinforcing agent providing comfort and solace while actually creating anxiety and depression. Drinking is the same. In fact most drugs seem to do this.

I hope it doesnt sound as if im giving you a drugs lecture