In school where always taught that in order to be happy we must pick one lifetime career, and abandon our playfully creative attitudes in favor of a hard cut work ethic. I always struggled in school, nothing that was ever taught (except history) interested me in anyway. I was always put in special ed classes, where I was pretty much instilled that the world wants you to work as hard as possible, and if the world doesn't understand why your not working as hard as you should then you should be punished for this lack of understanding rather than being taught right from wrong, and to an even better point any thing at all.
So now I have this attitude (or phobia is probably a better word) of what the world expects of me. It's made me procrastinate, take a dim view of the world, and never find a true calling in life. I'm in college now and i can't seem to do my homework properly, and my test scores keep slipping, and I think it's because my mind keeps going back to those dark places I lived as a child. I know I need to let the past be the past, but some scars never f*****g heal, and some f*****g people need to realize that. One thing that really pisses me off is our educations over saturation on a societies need for money to be happy, yeah money is good to have, but I'm living proof that most of the time it doesn't make people happy.
I just want to live in such a such a place, where people don't care how wealthy you are, and want to help you get by cause they're all kind, and would never think of poking there nose where it don't belong. Maybe if that was the kind of world we lived in then something would interest me enough to dedicate my life to it's perfection.
14 Oct 2014, 10:51 pm
