My boyfriend's mum has passed away, and I keep crying

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I have never met my boyfriend's mum, as I haven't been with him long, but his mum passed away this morning and I feel dreadfully sorry for him and his family. His mum has been ill, but he thought she would at least make another 6 months at least.

He's had to cancel our vacation I've been looking forward to, but I am not disappointed at all. I expected our vacation to be cancelled, because I understand that it is a very hard time for him and his family, and he has a lot to sort out, and I understand that he is not up for a vacation. I know that I do love him, and so our vacation can wait til another time when he feels more up for it. But I told him not to worry about that at the moment, because I am not worried, all I'm worried about is how him and his family are feeling, and I hope that they will get through it OK.

But in the meantime, all I'm thinking about is him and his family. I have been thinking about them all day, and I've been on the phone to him and I've told him that I am sorry to hear about his mum and that I am here for him. And each time I talk to him on the phone, I feel my eyes filling up with tears, because I can feel his loss for his mum so much. I saw a picture of his mum on Facebook, and that made me cry too. I just can't help it.

Is this normal....for an Aspie? Because I was told that we lack empathy. I don't think I do.

You have feelings for this person so of course you will feel distraught over his loss; we Aspies are entitled to have empathy too. I am sure you are a source of support for him right now as you seem rather selfless in regards to the situation.

I am very supportive for him, and he is so glad that he has a girlfriend who is very caring. The last girlfriend he had (about 2 years ago) only wanted him so that she could guilt him into paying out for her, and she would sulk if he couldn't see her for some genuine reason. So he finished with her because he didn't like being treated like that. I would never treat him like that. I respect him completely, and he is really happy about that, and says that I am a decent girl.

It's very simple:

You know that your boyfriend is hurting from his mother's passing away, so you feel sympathy and empathy for him.

Forget about what they say about Aspies: we are human, too!

The empathy thing is kind of a canard.

It's true that we lack empathy in the strictest sense of the word: "To feel as." We don't react the same way to the same stimuli, and we don't deal with emotions in the same way. That doesn't mean we don't feel, or don't care.

I think what you are feeling is completely normal for a compassionate, caring individual, irrespective of AS.

Hey Joe90 how is your boyfriend doing?