Unreasonable response to NT normal situation

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Warning - I am about to have a non-sense rant.

I am an accountant (and bald) and a manager of other accountants. I have had a lot of turnover. I am never sure how much is my personality vs how much is because it is an entry level job and an accountant working in healthcare for a year or two looks great on a young accountants resume.
I recently lost two of my four employees at once twice, twithing the span of a year, although to be honest one was someone who was not an accountant and was just put in the position because their position was eliminated.
They quit just as we were starting our budget for next year, a busy time.
So I have had:
-to negotiate between my boss and the temp agency to hire a temp
-try to find time in my busy schedule to interview people
-haggle with HR and my boss over people's salar-I found a person who I think would be great, but she is in a wheelchair, our first person in a wheelchair in this facility, so I had to try to help arrange for accomodations for her (keep in mind thru all this I hate wroking with people, trying to convince them of anything)
-I am getting feedback from my boss saying I need to change things so that I can have better employee retention.
-My bosses boss is getting onto me because of the quality of the financials which are improvements I meant to make before everyone quit, but I ahve not had the time.
-trying to keep my two remaining overworked employees happy.

I have told my boss and my peer manager that I have aspergers and depression. I have not told them that the last 6 months or so I have been battling suicidal thoughts. My wife, my therapist and my doctor know although obviously unless you ahve been there you dont know the depths.

I have conisdered asking my boss if I can take a step back. But I am very conflicted.
-I hate the managing part, but I love the numbers part. I am dealing with incredibly complex numbers, working out solutions for managing information. I would hate to stpe back and not ahve a say in the way things are done from an accounting standpoint.
-We need the money. My wife was a stay at home mom and we have desperately needed that with two kids one diagnosed with Aspergers and anxiety problems and the toehr with extreme anxiety but more socially able. She started going back to work part time and we are still struggling financially.

I also like the people I work with, I have been here going on ten years.

I probably won't change, I will try towork things out because thats what I like to do, I hate quitting.

Can I get a few hang in theres and sympathy?

[b]Is there anyone else who has had suicidal thoughts who knows what it is like to sit in a normal world while the world seems to be crashing down around you?

Hello bald accountant,

Is it an option to discuss with your boss that you will temporarily do a step back when it comes to your "people management" tasks, but otherwise remain as involved as you currently are? I think it is very good that your boss knows at least partially what is going on, and he / she may simply appreciate your honesty. (I know I would.) Why would you have to give up on something that you are good at and enjoy? Discuss this openly with him / her and it should be possible to work out a practical solution. After all, what good does it do to anyone when you just "push on" to the point of collapse?

By the way, I think it's very fitting that you are bald. It is consistent with my mental image of "the accountant".

Best wishes, S.

P.S. I can answer "yes" to your last question, but I'm afraid I don't have much advice to offer. Be open to those close to you, tell them how you feel, don't hide it. When you think that you pose a danger to yourself, contact your therapist immediately, don't try to manage more than you can.

Just a quick check: Are you all right there?

Yeah I am OK
I am actually getting better at climbing of the wall so to speak between my therapist and my wife.
We are at my brother in laws for the weekend though. He can be real intimidating