Let it Go.

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For all Aspies who are still working on "letting go" of your Mom/Dad depending on everything you do:
How do you feel once you lose a part of the "freedom of growth and independence" you spent time to gain?

I feel very upset right now. For over 8 months, I used to be able to order medication, contact doctors/teachers, shop online (I do not drive), and manage my own bank account without my Mom taking control or watching everything I do. I've gained the freedoms listed above mostly because I spend a year living away from my Mom with 3 other Aspies (supported with some staff who just helped).

Unfortunately, one of the Aspies kept bothering me with his daily "AS twerks" of: barging in my room when I am talking with my friends and then disrespecting them by acting too sexual, constantly obsessing about Dragon Ball Z and playing with his 3DS during dinner, skipping all his chores after dinner to play his Xbox, and finally, playing extremely loud music during bed time. One night, he went too far to the point where I had a physical meltdown which broke 3-4 lease agreement rules and I got kicked out of that house forever. Now I am back living with my Mom due to safety issues.

Due to the fact that my Mom is now doing almost everything for me again (she says it is for safety reasons), I feel that the freedoms that I listed above are shrinking to the point where they are almost all gone; As of now, my mom wants too see everything I buy whenever I shop, she likes to see who I am texting, and she even likes to view most of my own routines, lists, and even my own private journal. If my Mom says: "Josh, I would like it if I could see what you got.", I instantly tell her yes (and show her). I am not sure if this is part of my AS or if it is because of the way I have been raised. It is so hard for me to say "no" when she asks questions like that because I want to please people. So in a way, it is like she has full control. I cannot hide anything because my behavior shows the truth (most Aspies cannot lie well). You see, when I lived alone without her, she never asked any of those questions because she trusted my growth and independence.

I talked with her and a therapists and we both agreed that I am currently not ready to be fully alone or to have all of those freedoms back until I improve my "social growth", form my own opinions/decisions, and become more optimistic. We do often fight and she often disagrees with what I buy and how I talk with people. The only thing that doesn't bug me is that she has a strong positive outlook and that she loves me for who I am.

Everybody told me that I was extremely lucky to live in a great house with many privileges and social opportunities...unfortunaly, it can take one Aspergian to ruin the whole thing. I do find it neat when my Mom tells me that it wasn't my fault, but his fault. I agree and I also believes that she loves to have full control of everything I do because she never realized how much I obsessed when I texted people and how impulsive I am when I shop. It must be that motherly-instinct. I will be having a group meeting soon and I hope I get everything off my chest. Usually, I miss something really important.

I would like some feedback and maybe I am not the only Aspie who had this situation.

Having your mother hovering around you to gain independent and social skills seems counterintuitive. Is it possible to find a carer not related to you to give you support? It just seems like an unhealthy situation.