Loosing it

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Cant enjoy anything, I see the ending before it begins, voluntarily godless without guidance, adding logic to imagination, no will to believe, seeing around every act, knowing the cold truth to all things. Wanting love but with conditions. Feeling alone and not wanting company. Sleeping to pass away the time, awakening to a dream. See no reason to cry, smiling when i should be sad. Wish to be simple, but knowing to much. Anchor never hit bottom, mind trailing the edge of insanity.

Very concise expression of your emotions. As the bible put it, being someone of wisdom always sad because u just know how it going to turn out before it starts. So try something new that u haven't try before and add your own creativity. Creating new things are satisfying and exciting, also contributes to society. Volunteer and help the poor and needy. That is the value of being one of a human being. U seems lack of motivation to accomplish anything. Just try to do something u like and enjoy the sense of achievements and share with others what u achieved.

Maybe things happen the way "you knew it", because you, whether consciously or unconsciously, forced them to happen that way. That way you at least can have your "I knew it". But if you think about life, do we really possess such cognition that we truly could state to have known the turns things take in advance? Do we really possess the "cold truth" over the blindness of the rest of the mankind? What is the "cold truth" in me answering to you? I doubt you know or the answer might just say more about you than of me.

Maybe you have an inner insecurity and to balance it out a feeling of wanting to be always on top of things and that is the reason things in your life always take the turn they take. What if, the next day you did an opposite thing to what your second guessing says... Do the instant, not the constant. If you are always just driving by and not stopping, you will just always drive by. Look!

Love and trust to you.