I need some advice
I keep getting tons of suggestions from people on what they think I should do, and it starts to overwhelm me because often I have already previously decided on what I'm going to do, and suddenly I have another option to consider, and now I have to go through them all over again.
Here's the situation: I want to move out of my grandparents' house, but I have several options.
I could get my own apartment nearby.
I could move to Ohio, and live with my sister.
I could move somewhere else and get my own apartment there.
I could move to Missouri and get an apartment with my friend (he offered while I was visiting for Christmas).
Then there's the issue of whether or not I get there by flying or driving (I'd have to sell my car to fly). I don't want to fly, I'd rather drive, but my grandpa (mom's dad) said I should consider flying since making that big of a trip in the middle of winter may be a bit dangerous. He said he'd help with the costs of moving me to Ohio as well, which is what I want to do.
I want to drive to Ohio. But people keep saying "consider this" and "consider that" and I feel like now I have to come up with reasons why I don't want to do those options, so I won't make them think poorly of me. I always feel like people are constantly judging my decisions like they know best, and if I make the wrong choice then they are going to punish me in one way or another. I wish they would just let me live my life, how am I going to learn anything if I don't make my own decisions?
If I don't ask for advice, in my opinion they shouldn't give me any, unless they ask me first if I actually want to hear it. Because now I'm all stressed out for no good reason
Edit: I forgot to mention, the other thing that stresses me out is that I will have to quit my job. Well, I told them I could stay for probably at least 6 months, but right now I've only been working for 3, and if I leave when I want to it will be only a month from now. So that makes me a liar. And I am sure they are going to want to know why I'm leaving so soon, and I don't want to tell them it's because I don't like living with my grandparents, because then they'll think, "Maybe he just needs an apartment nearby, I should pester him about that." I don't want to live alone. I barely survived living with 5 other roommates at university, and that was only 8 months ago. I don't want to tell them those details. But I'm not good at making up reasons either. Ugh.
_________________
"It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important."
- Sherlock Holmes
Looks like you want to drive to Ohio and live with your sister. The other options are good to have as a backup, but it seems like your mind is made up. When your grandparents/family members are offering advice, then respond by thanking them for the suggestion, but be firm in telling them that you've already decided the when, how, and where you'll be living. Understand that your grandparents' concerns come from fear, such as your well-being during the long road trip, so you could reassure them by figuring out the best month and week for the trip, where there will be less of a chance of encountering some storm/blizzard. Maybe tell them that you'll call each day until you get to Ohio, so at least they'll know that you're ok?
About your job: the earlier you tell them, the better it will be so they can start the hiring process. You don't have to mention the exact reason. You can say "I'm giving you my X weeks notice. I'm sorry I can't fulfill the 6 month commitment as I will be moving to another state." If your supervisor asks "why?", then you can simply state "personal reasons" or "I want to be closer to my sister".
_________________
Don't settle for someone who doesn't see your worth.
Looks like you want to drive to Ohio and live with your sister. The other options are good to have as a backup, but it seems like your mind is made up. When your grandparents/family members are offering advice, then respond by thanking them for the suggestion, but be firm in telling them that you've already decided the when, how, and where you'll be living. Understand that your grandparents' concerns come from fear, such as your well-being during the long road trip, so you could reassure them by figuring out the best month and week for the trip, where there will be less of a chance of encountering some storm/blizzard. Maybe tell them that you'll call each day until you get to Ohio, so at least they'll know that you're ok?
About your job: the earlier you tell them, the better it will be so they can start the hiring process. You don't have to mention the exact reason. You can say "I'm giving you my X weeks notice. I'm sorry I can't fulfill the 6 month commitment as I will be moving to another state." If your supervisor asks "why?", then you can simply state "personal reasons" or "I want to be closer to my sister".
Thank you. I think I will just tell them that there have been changes in my living situation so I have to move. That's not really a lie. Or I can tell them it's to be closer to family like you said. I just dread actually doing it, bringing these kinds of things up gives me anxiety
_________________
"It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important."
- Sherlock Holmes
Hey.
Remember to keep your responses simple and to the point. It really is up to you on how much you want to reveal. To help reduce your anxiety, try rehearsing it a few times in your room or on the way to work.
_________________
Don't settle for someone who doesn't see your worth.
You could drive to Ohio in the spring, when there would be less chance of being trapped in a blizzard or something. You could also buy a cheap handheld CB radio, truckers use CB for telling each other road conditions, also if you do need to call for help and are in an area where cell phones don't work you could use the CB. Beau is right, it looks like you want to go to Ohio, so start finding a way to make it happen. And remember, you're an adult and can do as you wish.
nerdygirl
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Joined: 16 Jun 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,645
Location: In the land of abstractions and ideas.
Yes, it sounds like you know what you want to do - move to Ohio and live with your sister.
If you could wait out the three more months living with your grandparents, it might put you in a better position. You would not have to quit your job until the 6-month period is over. This would give you more money, which only helps in getting ready for a move and the unexpected expenses that go along with that. It would also place you at a better time of the year to move.
It *IS* harder to move in winter. Where you are moving from AND moving to, AND all the places in-between can get some serious winter weather.
If you drive, you can keep your car which would put you in a better financial position when you get to where you are going.
I know living with your grandparents is difficult, but if there is an end in sight, that may make things easier since you know the situation is temporary.
Thanks everyone, I don't feel as stressed about it anymore (or at least not right now anyway, I'll probably start worrying again at some point )
If you could wait out the three more months living with your grandparents, it might put you in a better position. You would not have to quit your job until the 6-month period is over. This would give you more money, which only helps in getting ready for a move and the unexpected expenses that go along with that. It would also place you at a better time of the year to move.
It *IS* harder to move in winter. Where you are moving from AND moving to, AND all the places in-between can get some serious winter weather.
If you drive, you can keep your car which would put you in a better financial position when you get to where you are going.
I know living with your grandparents is difficult, but if there is an end in sight, that may make things easier since you know the situation is temporary.
I think it does make more sense to stay a bit longer, to avoid weather and save money. I just don't like it here, so I want to leave as soon as possible
But I decided that instead of setting a date, it makes more sense to have a checklist of things that have to happen before I can go, as that is really what will decide when I can go anyway. I need to have my car paid off (only $900 left to go, I should have that by next month), obviously that's the main thing. Then I make sure I have a decent amount of extra money so I don't end up running out. That's when I can leave. And it will probably be March by that time, so I guess it kinda works out that way anyway.
_________________
"It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important."
- Sherlock Holmes
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