Never wake up...

Post Reply New Topic

I don't really know whats wrong with me...

I have almost all F's in school...
Schools so stressful, it really feels like I might f*****g die.
I hate my life
I can't control my emotions
I want to be in a relationship, but everyone at my school already is
I hate this f*****g town
I can't get past my childhood and all the abuse I took (physical and emotional)
from, parents, kids, even teachers at one point when I was put into a school
where they were illegally using restraints.

I had no friends in school until I was in the 6th grade.

The funny thing is that AS kids are supposed to be clueless at social behavior
but in 6th grade it all snapped into place and I was making tons of friends.

The only person I can't make friends with right now is me.
I hate myself.
I just want to stop breathing
I'm too tired and emotionally sensitive to live.

I'm just trying to untangle my mind before I go into adulthood, but at the same time all these f***s want me to do all this busywork in school is if I'm not filled to the brim with enough BS.
And when I explain to them how I feel, they just think I'm f*****g lazy.

I don't know what to do, I'm just tired of all the BS. I'm tired of not being able to be halfway happy and effectual
like everyone else. I'm tired of all the f*****g roadblocks

I've wanted to die since I can remember. Even when content with my life, I still couldn't see a point to it all. Now, it's just more pressing. Don't have the guts though; although I convince myself that there is some sort of purpose behind my existence (why else would such perfection exist?). I know that I became happier more of the time when I just learned to give up on trying to buy into all of the bull. But now, I'm back in the midst of it - without knowing how to drop out again.

There is one thing that makes me want to live and even that is winding down.

Honestly, yes, I do feel like that sometimes!

However, I have since learned to appreciate my life and absorb all the good things that happen in it. The best of my life is yet to come.

Yes I do feel like that a lot. But I know that there is a chance I won't die and I'll have to go to a Psych Ward again, and that place makes me feel happy, so it gets me angry as well for letting me live.

So, it must be like we have both optimism and pessimism at the same time.

But as Larsenjw92286 said, I truly believe that the best of life will come.

Of course!

You are absolutely right!

Well, if you have almost all F's, then that must mean there is one class in which you don't have an F. That is good.

Killing yourself is pointless and irreversible. If school is stressing you out, perhaps you need a vacation. A break from something stressful often helps put it in perspective, and can often help you figure out ways of dealing with your problems.

And are you getting F's because you are being lazy and not doing the work, or is it because you are doing the work, but just not getting the concepts? If it is the former, you should form some sort of study plan or something, or just buckle down and do the work. If it's the latter, you should ask your teachers for help. That's what they're there for.

You should appreciate life regardless of who you are!

What grade are you in? Are you in college?

I thought I'd interject and say if you didn't wake up, how can you possibly appreciate life?

This place is an excellent place to escape from all of the pain that most of us here are all to familiar with. Sometimes, when I'm feeling like my life is falling apart, I come here and express my emotions because it's safe to do it here. I hope you decide to continue posting here.

Of course!

Well...

I'm in 10th grade.

And if you live how can you appreciate death?

Honestly though, you do have a choice nearly all the time to
die. If you face it every now and then, it might just make you
realize that it is something that you don't need as an escape. A
good death is not a fleeing from the reality that is too harsh, but
rather an embrassing from a position of strength. Wait until you
know that you are ready - and this is not a knowledge which can
possibly be made in the depths of depression - and leave with honor.