I think my grandparents took all my blades

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This morning my grandma found blood on the floor (which I am genuinely confused about, as I always make sure everything is clean, plus the spot was under a box that I haven't moved in quite a while). I honestly don't even know if it's blood, I have no idea where it came from.

Anyway, my grandma asked me about it, and I told her truthfully that I didn't know what it was. That was before I left in the morning, and when I got back in the evening the spot was cleaned, as well as my entire room (this is normal though, they pay a maid to clean once a week, and my grandma also cleans a lot). My stuff was all moved around and organized for me (which I despise even under regular circumstances), but this is also normal. What isn't normal is for things to be missing or even moved around in my drawers. There is no need for anyone to be in there, and up to this point there has been no problem with that.

But all my pocket knives and razor blades are gone, I can't find a single one. It's hard for me to believe those things are just misplaced in my room considering how many of them I had, and that I now can't find any (4 pocket knives, and dozens of other blades).

They are weird and passive aggressive, so I think they will pretend they don't know what I'm talking about, or just not answer my question, unless I tell them why I need them.

So now I don't know what to do. Even if they figured out what I've been using them for, I don't want to talk to them about it. But I need them back.

I think they think you are self-harming.

Yes, it was intrusive of them to take your things. In their hard way, your grandparents care about you, though. They don't understand self-harm---and they don't want you to indulge in it.

I think you have lots going for you. I wish you would move away from harming yourself, and continue with the improvement you've shown recently. You have lots of potential which shouldn't be squandered.

Yeah, they probably took all your blades.

If it makes you feel any better, my one real life autistic friend's apartment contains no metal blades.

It probably doesn't make you feel better.


Call it a win. You have grandparents that care enough to exercise caution? Yeah. This could be worse.
You can get blades anywhere. It's not hard. Consider not doing so. I imagine that your grandparents experienced negative unpleasant feelings due to this happenstance. Try not to repeat that? *shrug* Make attempts at being considerate. It won't always go well, but it's the thought the counts.

Edit: You concern about them re-organizing your stuff is somewhat valid. If there are no blades present, you could tell them that you aren't comfortable with them doing that in the future. They may actually listen.

This. Exactly this.

They're trying to help you in the best ways they know how because they love you, despite your disagreements in the past.

You don't "need" them. (your blades) You want them. It's healthier for you not to have them available to you to self harm. I think you know this but have a compulsion that makes you want to cut. Hopefully not having them available to you results in your impulse to do this fading and you come to realize that you don't Need to cut yourself and that your grandparents are trying to help you by taking away your blades. Sometimes it's exactly what you need... a little tough love from people in your life that love you more than you love yourself right now.

In my opinion, if you are cutting yourself, you need to stop. That isn't the right way of handling your problems. Your body is precious; don't injure it.