Just want to fade away

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I'm tired of dealing with this world. Every day I wake up I immediately regret doing so. It's been like this for years, and I've struggled with depression since childhood. I despise my family, I want them to suffer for bringing me into this world. I want to make them regret ever conceiving me.

I'm sorry to hear that. Have you tried anti-depressants?

Punishing yourself may not have the effect of punishing them, - if they are total ratbags they might be pleased - so it's not a particularly safe strategy... Give yourself a total divorce from them if they are toxic. Sometimes we have to do that.

Meantime vent - that's what the Haven can be good for.