Something's started bothering me about the past

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I have a cousin, the same age as me, who I grew up close to, and lives less than a mile away from me but I haven't seen in 8 years (but we all know she lives here because we see their car always parked down their street).

10 years ago she abandoned me, and the rest of her family and friends, just to run off with this man, telling upsetting lies about us along the way. At first I felt very upset, but I got used to not having her around years ago, and decided if she could give up all her loving family just to be with this guy then I'm better off forgetting her.

But today was her birthday, and I suddenly saw on facebook one of her old schoolfriends saying "happy birthday to my old best friend [name], wherever you are, if you are still out there xx", then suddenly there was a string of comments from other old schoolfriends of her's, saying "I remember her, where is she?" And somebody else who used to be my cousin's friend too wanted to know her address and so on.

But this girl abandoned all of these people, and according to their facebook profiles they are all married with little children now, and moved right at other ends of the country.

What's been bothering me about this is I haven't heard from any of my schoolfriends, and they've probably forgotten all about me and wouldn't even care what I'm doing. I could have been murdered for all they know, and none of them would remember my birthday after all this time. But I didn't abandon them, if anything I wanted to stay in touch. Plus this cousin of mine had some Aspie traits and some trouble socializing, but she still has friends from school that remember her and would probably try to get to see her again if she wasn't with this strange man, even though I'd thought these people would be more wrapped up in their own lives with their marriages and their kids, than worrying about some friend that abandoned them. But I know that nobody would care about me. Now it's made me feel reminded that I was so hated in High School, I might as well of had AIDS, the way I was avoided and rejected, and now forgotten like I was a nobody.

I only have mild AS, and I don't even feel I really have that any more. I just feel like I have ADHD, panic disorder, and mild social awkwardness.

Sounds to me like someone had their facebook pop a b-day reminder on them and posted...and someone else saw it and merely commented.. and the chain got going.

It doesn't seem like those people even thought about your missing cousin until her name was mentioned in passing. Its understandable how you feel... I get the same /sigh moments when I see how hypersocial my high school classmates are in FB but anytime I post something or reply to a comment they had (this is open-for-all comment section obviously, not that im butting in on someone's conversation) its almost as if people don't read it or never reply to it. Even when a pic on my FB where I was in a hospital bed in the ER was tagged by a family member and it popped up in the class FB group nobody posted anything or asked about it. Its that little /sigh feeling that pops up that is unavoidable, a part of you still wants to integrate to that peer group.

So, its normal. Don't let it get your spirits down.

I can understand you being upset with your cousin and the lies she told.

But, if I were you, I'd move on. Life is tough enough as it is without adding more regrets.

The other posters were right. Facebook sends reminders to people about birthdays...even to people who are friends of friends of friends, etc. I constantly get reminders of people I don't know.

Picking your battles is the key to obtaining some happiness.

Thank you, you have made me feel better.

But I think also my cousin was lucky in High School, because she had other like-minded girls in her class who struggled academically, and were kind of looked down upon by the rest of their peers. So obviously they kind of stuck together.

The other girls in my class all were rather bright, confident and cliquey, and so I didn't really fit in with them. If there had of been some girls who were behind academically and were on the special ed table with me, then I might have been accepted by them. There were boys on the special ed table with me, but I didn't want to hang out with boys, although thinking back, they probably would have accepted me better than the girls.

But I've never been lucky when it comes to friends. Some Aspies do find themselves a group of friends at school who they are comfortable with, and I suppose it depends on what sort of kids you are grouped with through school.

It's probably just the facebook notification ticker that reminded everyone about her. Everyone flocks to someone's page when it's their birthday, even if they don't know them. It could be someone's birthday that I went to high school with 8 years ago and never spoke to and it'd spark a memory. I guarantee in 1 week they won't even be thinking about her.