Ever feel like a ghost?

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Lately I've felt totally invisible. Sometimes I don't even feel like I'm really "there" but instead watching events in my life as if they were a dream. Its really hard to explain. At work I work alone (which is nice, in most cases) but, being the over achieving worker that I am, management never bothers to check up on me and thus I go most of the night not speaking to anyone. Not that I WANT management crawling up my butt every 10 seconds, but it would be nice to hear a "thank you" from time to time considering they employ a vast majority of people not worth a damn. Then when I get off work, I go home and, again, no one. The people I live with are on opposite schedules (I work graveyard shift) so they're gone or asleep.

I guess the only reason I'm in such a somber mood is just feeling like I don't actually exist. I feel like a ghost in that movie the Sixth Sense where they don't know that they're dead yet so they continue on living their "life" without ever being seen.

I don't know. Just venting is all. The perfect song to compliment my state of mind right now is "Everyday Is Exactly The Same" by Nine Inch Nails. With that having been said.....its time to get ready for work :\

I wish I had a Ghost's abilities.

Nope...I've always felt like I'm so encumbered with physicality. I feel too heavy for my soul.

Feeling like you're not really there or like you're a character on tv is called "dissociation". I dropped out of university because I'd gone for 6 weeks without speaking to anyone and I felt unreal like you. Later I had a job where I worked alone in a small windowless office and didn't speak to coworkers or boss. I lasted almost 9 months before I began to feel crazy.

THANK you MollyT! I was a bit skeptical after reading up on the subject because I'd never heard of it before and kept seeing things like "schizophrenia" and that made me feel even worse and even more like I was nuts.....but I dug deeper and this whole depersonalization-derealization thing totally fits into how I feel. I don't think it helps much that over the past several months I've been listening to a lot of Boards of Canada, Jesu, Sigur Ros, and other ethereal/distant sounding bands....especially at work when I feel the most detached (I also work at night, thus very few people around).

I know there is a label for everything these days....but sometimes nice to know there is one just to know that you're not the only one I guess.

Again, much appreciated.

I'm all too aware of my fleshy, flabby, weak mortal husk. It's kind of cool to think of one's skin as being a coat that eventually gets cast aside when it gets too old and heavy for your spirit, even if you're not a firm believer of an afterlife.

I often feel like an invisible creature, wandering through the world without contact with others. This happens most often when I'm around people who might be considered attractive, especially the young ones.

Sometimes I feel that I have nothing left to offer the world, and that I'm just going through the motions of living until I die.

Depressing, isn't it?

It'd only be depressing if you didn't write to me, so we could talk about it.

No, thank you. I've learned the hard way that baring my soul to strangers is never a good idea - there's too great a risk of something I say coming back to haunt or hurt me.

I wrote a poem about this in high school.
And another poem about it in college.

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