Just another lonely meaningless holiday

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I'm so glad I worked today, Easter Sunday. If I didn't get to go to work I wouldn't have done anything at all but stare at my Facebook page filled with all the happy families celebrating Easter. Everything is closed around me and I can't get any food for supper unless it's at the convenience store.

Am I depressed? Nah, after going on 38 years of dealing with the same stuff year after year I think I'm starting to get used to it. However I made this post so I could reflect that some part of me deep down is really sad. How do these humans do it? What am I missing? I wish I could be flippant and say I simply don't care, but that's just not true. Relationships are profoundly beyond me and everyone I know would rather hang out with anyone but me. I was hoping that some of you might feel the same way about holidays, I'm reaching out because it still hurts, even though I'm growing numb.

It would be nice to be normal I think. Maybe just for one day so I can be a part of everyone's life-- then I can go back to being aspie, that's fine with me. People expect me at the major holidays and I'm there... but not really there. So both they and I don't enjoy them-- I just get through it. I chose to work in the hospitality field so I would always have an excuse. So usually I only have to visit family at Christmas because so far I haven't had a job that requires me to work that day. Thanksgiving is hit or miss. Most years pass without invitations to anything and as time goes on, not much is expected of me anymore. I don't blame them.

I plan things to do on holidays. Yes, that includes my family, but I plan especially for an activity or two for myself. I have been known to go to a restaurant or movie by myself. Nobody needs to know.

Happy Easter, kirayng!

My hamburger meat for tonight's dinner is defrosting as we speak ... wasn't in the mood to go to a restaurant for lunch or dinner this Easter.

Family holidays have been hit or miss, especially since my grandparents and father died.

I did actually see my sister and her family briefly yesterday, and my mom briefly yesterday.

I pray for my family every day ... it seems like it will take a lot more praying before things heal enough to resemble the kind of normal family we had years ago.

I hope things will improve for you too!

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Happy Easter, AspieUtah!

My brief family visits yesterday were combined with a quick trip out-of-state to pick up some pictures from an art gallery after a show which just ended. I have no family where I live, and after all the driving from yesterday, was too tired to go anywhere after church.

BTW, we seem to be similar when it comes to astronomy ... I was more in-depth into it when I was little. But the enjoyment is still there big time ... You and Scotia just may inspire me to get more involved with a local astronomy club. Now if only you lived closer to me.

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I know what you mean Kirayng.

I saw so many loved up couples while out walking today and while I can say that I am happy with my life and that I don't enjoy all that sentimental stuff, part of me is sad that I just can't interact with people that way. I think the part that always gets me is that I know other people want those little touches or romantic gestures so I avoid even putting myself in that situation as I can see it all falling apart when I don't show my affection in the way they want/need and I know I'll just end up upsetting them.

When I was younger it definitely bothered me, now I realise there are much worse things that other people go through. Like you say occasionally you just have to acknowledge it does make me sad and then you can move on. Hopefully it doesn't get you to down, there's many people the same as you.

Yep, I never understand the need for these holidays. And why shops are always closed on them. I mean it's contradictory in my logic; the country gives everyone days off, and then the shops close, just when more people might want to visit them....

Christmas, Easter and any others, they all highlight how different I am to everyone else, and I never understand what I'm doing wrong; why I can't partake in the enjoyment. Well actually, I would hate the busy traffic and tourist attractions and everything that goes with it... lol.

But yes it definitely makes me kind of sad at the same time.

Today's a holiday? I went skiing and did chores, I completely forgot.