First of all I am not a regular angry person, nor being an idiot. I don't have depression nor anxiety nor other issues that contains me having medications and that. I am manageable.
BUT, people doesn't seem manageable to me at all! Their advices towards things when I am feeling down is always telling me I am doing wrongfully or its my fault making that to happen. I don't even get it. Is it because I don't deserve living life like normally? I am so terribly frustrated by the way how I am being treated. Is it because my brain wired differently that makes it appear so terrible for me? Or it just people including NTs puts on purpose to mistreat me?
I am so frustrated by people use popularity contest on everything, towards competition for making friends and steal all of my potential girlfriends. Like using Facebook. I have same profile picture as many others is because of environmental campaign I have today, and majority of us are friends because of the group network. I get zero likes, others gets more than I am. Why I am feeling bad at this? Is it truthfully that people don't understand me why I put a profile picture as many others they knew as well as me? Or it a popularity contest sort of scenario?
In reality, it does a same thing. My voices are always drown out of the crowd or other people 'overtalking' onto top of me and makes me feel unfinished kind of person. I don't talk too much, it is always the time I don't had enough time to talk. I had leadership skills and experience but people still overlapping my voices; makes me to be invisible or unheard.
This happens when I try to make friends and girlfriends. I always tend to be drown out. It always seem that NT put way too much pressure on them because they putting too much pressure onto me! Arghhh that drives me nuts!
So is it a better method for me is to shut up and don't talk then?
21 Apr 2015, 2:49 am
