11 May 2015, 8:10 pm
...Last night , I was really depressed for a while , thinking a bit of suicide regarding the constant itching that , since I have no place to " shower & switch " now , as I hiave explained before...(Really , do I HAVE TO detail it all over again ? 
)...but , maybe I'd be punished by got with eternal painful itching for suicide ...You can say " God is love " , but , there's certainly , or it seems for me , argument for the hard-shelled Baptist/Calvinist " God can strike you down ! And , He has EVERY RIGHT to ! !! You are slimy sinners ! !! " mindset I guess , from the Bible...) .
Some nice folks came along later and I pepped up some ~ But , it is looking like I'll NEVER get better , I'll never get the care/rest that I need 
I don't think moving to a homeless encampment , miles from everything and w/much dirt/st7u9ff left hanging around for me to , possibly , get infected from is a particularly great idea , not to mention the possibly already resident people and me being instantly pushed upon them and my general difficulty with communal life ...I)'m not , maybe , gonna discuss the possily-maybe " nice " shelter and such much - Really , it's rather unlikely and , even the best likely manifestation of it would be unlikely to provide me w/enuff for my toe to completely heal...
I mentioned the idea of an " extra month " of money to set some thingus up/clean up_If was a 1/2 month , not a full one , of money but I could stay somewhere a week or less , sleep and leave my stuff there and go out in daytime via public transportation , it could help me clean up/plan/prepare though I'm not saying it would be enough to heal my toe ...
