Finally cried again

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There's an emotional block that I didn't have when I was a kid. I wonder why that changed. Maybe because no one around me really cared how I felt anyway, so I just learned to bury all that stuff and show only small traces of the things I felt inside.

So it's been months since I was able to cry, but I finally did today after a disagreement with my mother over the phone, and it was ugly. The crying, that is. It was violent and wrenching, sounds I don't think I've ever made before. At least no one else was around to hear them. Crying is supposed to make you feel better afterwards, but I don't. I want to disappear and to to a place where I won't hurt anymore.

I understand the road you speak of. Walked the same path of an actively emotional child slowing growing more reserved in emotional displays, and colder, but that might have been more of a personal detour, than in the past. I've personally found that like with many things there seem to be certain triggers which make things act up more. In my case stressful dealings with family can be a tad bit emotionally overwhelming and I'm usually someone who is rather cool under fire so to say. I can't help but to think of an old saying when thinking about crying in particular though. It isn't a sign of being weak, but instead being too strong for too long.

I have trouble feeling sad for others (at the very least, not very). Crying isn't a bad thing, but it can often be associated with bad memories or events.