They are not my people anymore!! !

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Twenty-six years I went undiagnosed. I know that many of you on here went longer............I have to be in the same home town working as a JANITOR in a grocery store with the some of the SAME people I went to high school with!! !! I'm 35 to top it off!! ! WOOOOOOOOOO WIEEEEEEEEEEEE!! !! I HATE every god damn one of them!! !! !! THE WHOLE TIME I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL THESE NT PIECES OF SH** MADE MY LIFE HELL!! !! ! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW that were all old and past high school oh NOOOOOOOOOOW its ok to be friends with me on facebook!! ! I wish I never would have added some of those people to my friends list!! !



Hardly any of them offered a hand when I was down..............I just don't have time for fake people anymore......I don't want people in my life who can't accept the fact that I am a little different!! !!


I apologize if this is posted in the wrong place. I have had a few beers to drink tonight.


I have no decent woman to love me!! !! I have to live in the area where I was born, The area that did not do ONE MOTHER f*****g THING FOR ME!! !! !! AT ALL!! !! !! !! !! Not that my situation would have been different anywhere else at that time. I just want to go and live where I can be truly happy!! !! ! But the 1% are trying to rob me and a lot of other people of my dreams all so they can still make a profit...........I still feel like that defenseless child who gets bullied constantly........One of the things that I want to do is to make the culture that was supposed to love me and give me proper guidance to PAY for the fact that it neglected me, for leaving me by the way side. For treating me like an outcast...............................................Some of the old neighborhoods that I grew up in now struggle with heroin! That makes me happy!! ! I live in Cincinnati. One area that I spent some time in my childhood is now struggling with a heroin problem. That actually made me feel.....smug and satisfied.



But will I take actual revenge you might ask? No, because now I am a dumb animal that is chasing the economic carrot on a stick. If you do work hard and play by the rules you will be rewarded which I am doing. But that is another story.........Fear of the law and the promise of a brighter future are the ONLY two things that are keeping me from going insane with rage!!

I don't know if this is helpful, but it made me think of something interesting going on with my husband at work. He and his co-worker are about on the same job level and have about the same earnings. The co-worker is one of the least successful people from his high school and my husband is one of the most successful.

So maybe it depends on where you're from and what that area's definition of success is. If you had gone to another high school you may have been one of the top dogs in life.

Leave the past behind you. If you keep living in it, it will hold you back from moving farther ahead. Delete all those people from your Facebook. Why are you even friends with them? If they see you in person and ask about you rejecting their friend request then be upfront and tell them you have no interest in being friends with them. It does not matter if you see them in person. When you see them in person ignore them. Pretend they do not exist. Walk past them with a vacant look.

You are filled with hurt. It is understandable why, but as I wrote above you need to let it all go. The area you live in may suck, but don't let that factor hold you back.

There is no need to punish them now for what they did then. They most likely have grown up and changed and think that you got over them pushing you around the same way they got over being pushed around by other kids. They don't know you have AS. I was bullied and picked on relentlessly in school and then I stood up for myself as a teenager, but they still never really accepted me. It was not fun to say the least.

I was diagnosed in middle age. By then I didn't care because I had gone on with my life and married and had kids, etc. All it did to me was explain why I have the troubles I do. However I did have a couple friends in school who took me under their wing and helped me learn not to act so weird, etc.

They probably really don't know that you are still hurting from the stuff they did. Here is what I did with some of my bullies when they wanted to hang out later on in life like we had been friends. Either face to face or on FB I'd chat with them and then bring the conversation around to school days. I'd say "yall really were s**ts to me you know. Remember when you did <whatever it was>? I actually used to cry myself to sleep at night. Thats ok though, I'm over it now" even if I wasnt because it made them feel like utter s**t and not know wht to say and keep apologizing to me.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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