Depressed in hard times in my life...

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Last night before I went to bed, I was in my room crying about the things that have failed in my life, as well as the things I've suffered through since I left high school. From trying to get job training through my state's department for aging and rehabilitative services in 2009 to being booked for assault and battery in 2013, my life has been blown to Hell. Now that the 100th anniversary of the First World War is underway, my parents are the Germans and I'm Great Britain. I live death-hell in my trench. I'm under constant bombardment from their reserve artillery 24/7 since the war began and we dug in along the Western Front. I try to have relief by counterassaulting by firing my reserve artillery.
I'm so scared of the blowing of the whistle to go over the top (OTT) and attack. I'm afraid of either being mowed down by the withering bullets of the machine-gun, or the cloud of poison gas from either a cylinder or a shell, or the bullet of a magazine-fed rifle, or the steel blade of a bayonet, or a piece of shrapnel.
My mind has been rewired since I saw the movie "The Black Swan." The sexual scenes are still fresh in my memory from two years on November 2nd, 2015, which also is the date of my arrest from assaulting my dad, even to this day, they're still fresh.
Is there anything I can do in order to survive out in society, as well as with my parents while I'm still living with them?

Have you got something that you're really interested in?

I bet you're into history--maybe military history?