Is there a socially proper way to tell someone you're homele
Is there a socially proper way to tell someone you're homeless and ask if you can stay with them?
Optional Information: Hi, I used to be active on WrongPlanet about a year ago. I stopped coming because I got frustrated by a few posters. Particularly one poster who implied I can't ask for help here if I don't have autism. Well I have a lot in common with people who do have autism which is why I'm here. I always doubted I have autism because I can read facial expressions. However I have virtually no social skills/instinct and struggle with social interactions. I learned so much about social behavior from Wrongplanet. I recently decided I have Schizoid Personality Disorder. It would explain why I have no social relationships. It makes sense that I first found Wrongplanet before I found out anything about SPD, since the online autism community is much bigger than the SPD one.
OK, back to the question. I've been homeless for over a week. I have a low paying job so I was able to sleep a hotel for a little while. I could barely afford it. Out of desperation, I asked one of the few people I used to socialize with if I could stay with them. I asked because I once had a counselor who suggested I ask for help more. I'm a loner and independent for the most part and keep to myself. Me reaching out to someone shows I am very desperate. I have no friends whatsoever and it's on purpose. The person I contacted is someone I knew from church back when I would attend bible study. I haven't seen/spoken to this person in years. I called and she didn't answer. Later that day I texted her and first said hi. I tried my best not to be blunt becaue I'm always told I'm blunt. She responded asking how I was and I explained that I am homeless and if I could possibly stay at her place. After that she didn't respond. Days later and still no response.
I'm wondering if I went about it the wrong way? I thought there was a chance she'd say yes. I once read in a book about a man housing a random girl he found hurt in the street. So me asking someone I used to socialize with didn't seem too farfetched. Do you think she could have responded at the very least? Is it because I haven't talked to her in a while? When we did talk I did go out to lunch and stuff with her. She was kind of like the "mentor" in my bible study group. I can't say if we were "close" since I am unable of forming connections with people. Please no troll posts I will not respond to them. If you would like further details about my situation or SPD, feel free to PM me. Please only post in response to the bolded question. Thank you for reading.
Maybe you could offer to do housework or something.
If you are approaching total strangers, I doubt that they will respond positively these days.
I would probably go to homeless services in that community. If you have a job, you probably have a better chance of getting a place.
I wish you luck. You seem like an okay person.
Caelum
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 199
Location: Surrounded by Mountains
No, unfortunately, there isn't. You just tell them the problem and ask for help and hope for the best. It's a sucky situation and I'm sorry you're stuck. What city are you in or near? There are a variety of options in the western world to help you get back on your feet. While there are some state run programs, from what I gather, you mostly have to be fed into them from a city/community program.
Good luck and stay safe.
if family or close friends don't help out no one will,
it's like that, being homeless
maybe some charity or women-shelter can help you, or a hostel ?
I think you are right. Me and the lady werent close, at least I dont think we were. I know she doesn't owe me anything I guess I was just mad im still so clueless when it comes to social stuff. Unfortunately the women's shelter says they are full. The local Salvation Army has something specifically for women though.
If you are approaching total strangers, I doubt that they will respond positively these days.
I would probably go to homeless services in that community. If you have a job, you probably have a better chance of getting a place.
I wish you luck. You seem like an okay person.
No we weren't total strangers. I've been to her apartment a few times before actually. I guess we aren't close enough now. I've just let it go and won't ask her again. Thanks for kind words.
Yes I'm going to try the homeless shelter. Thanks.
Good luck and stay safe.
Yeah she wasn't obligated to help and I accept that. I'm in a city with a huge homeless problem the women's shelter is at full capacity.
Thanks for the suggestions.
First and foremost,
Its incredibly unwise to decide what you do and don't have in terms of psychological/medical conditions. Now I'm not implying that ASD or any particular disorder is less than xyz or that to have no condition is best. I'm strictly saying that its best to have a professional make that assessment and cater services to your needs from evidence based observations. But from what I could extrapolate, you could just as equally have social pragmatic communication disorder (mind blown, theres another one for you).
Get shelter. Most important. Than get assessment. Its not only important to get shelter, but that shelter should be sustainable. Housing insecurity is just as devastating as homelessness.. and the best way to make it sustainable is to address your personal deficits in the hope of sorting things out and getting proper employment/family etc.
Its not pretty, and I know what its like. I was 16 when I entered into homelessness, but it is something you can pull yourself out of with the appropriate use of services. The best way to get these services is by having that assessment and sorting your life out.. you will probably meet specific disability related services which will make pulling yourself out a lot easier.
Good luck.
Try saying "between leases" instead of "homeless" to make it clear that it's a temporary situation and you need someplace to crash briefly until you can find a place of your own and get things sorted out.
You mentioned this first woman was from a church you attended. Go there tomorrow and see if anyone will help you (if not, that's also a clue about the church, but separate issue).
_________________
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
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I will. Thanks.
Its incredibly unwise to decide what you do and don't have in terms of psychological/medical conditions. Now I'm not implying that ASD or any particular disorder is less than xyz or that to have no condition is best. I'm strictly saying that its best to have a professional make that assessment and cater services to your needs from evidence based observations. But from what I could extrapolate, you could just as equally have social pragmatic communication disorder (mind blown, theres another one for you).
Get shelter. Most important. Than get assessment. Its not only important to get shelter, but that shelter should be sustainable. Housing insecurity is just as devastating as homelessness.. and the best way to make it sustainable is to address your personal deficits in the hope of sorting things out and getting proper employment/family etc.
Its not pretty, and I know what its like. I was 16 when I entered into homelessness, but it is something you can pull yourself out of with the appropriate use of services. The best way to get these services is by having that assessment and sorting your life out.. you will probably meet specific disability related services which will make pulling yourself out a lot easier.
Good luck.
I understand what you're saying, but I will not seek out a professional because I have given up on counseling. It's a good idea to look for homeless services. I'll see if there are services that can help me afford an apartment. I didn't think to ask for help affording a place. Thanks for the advice.
You mentioned this first woman was from a church you attended. Go there tomorrow and see if anyone will help you (if not, that's also a clue about the church, but separate issue).
Ah, that's what I should've said! I'm not going to go to the church, I'm not going to ask again. And yeah you would think church folk would be more understanding but I'm not going to dwell on it. Thanks for your help.