I Don't Know How to Feel About This (Trigger Warning just in

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Hello there, everyone.

This morning, I had a bit of an incident today in the washroom of the local mall. I was finishing off my morning walk when I decided to use the bathroom near the EB Games at the mall. as it was right on my usual route. Just as I was in a stall, another guy walked in to use the urinal next to my stall.

The next thing I know, I could see the guy in front of the sinks from the door hinges and he was holding his bare penis in his hands. I sure as f**k didn't want to leave the stall and he was still standing there. I waited until he was out of sight to get out, wash my hands leave the washroom as quick as I could.

The guy might have not been "all there" in the head, but I was scared. What he tried to rape me? I shouldn't have stayed longer than I did to wash my hands, I should've just ran.

There was another incident sort of like this that happened to me some years ago. There was this woman I had as a friend that no one else knew, so I would sometimes go to her house in the mornings when my parents were off to work. One time during my visits, she made some south african cuisine from home I could eat. I ate some but the pepper and raw cabbage combo made me sick. I was too polite to say I wasn't feeling good and I threw up on one of her plates. She took it all in stride and said I could take a bath to clean myself up. I took a bath and later went home, after she kept me no matter how many times I told her I wanted to leave.

My dad was worried that something bad might have happened to me when I came back as he was off work by then. I told my dad this (leaving out the bath part) and both he and I agreed that I should keep my distance from her. When I told my mom about it she said since no one knew where I was, the woman could have kidnapped or murdered me and no one would be able to find me. I left out the bath part to her as well but the message would still be the same.

All day all I could think of was that man in the washroom and the woman and her home. I could have been the victim of sexual assault TWICE in my life within a few years. I don't know what to do now. I feel kind of scared now the more I think about it.

Yes, you have to be cautious in these sorts of situations. Quickly glance around the washroom. If somebody seems to be loitering without waiting for a stall or urinal, I would be skeptical. For men, the washroom is not a place for socialization like it is (somewhat) for women.

I've been using washrooms for years. What I do...I just do my business, look like I'm doing my business, and leave the washroom as soon as possible.

If there's some guy holding his penis and seeming to masturbate, LEAVE.

That's never happened to me in a restroom--but once, when I was 14, some guy stuck his penis in my face in the street. This doesn't mean I avoid the street because of that incident.

I am glad that you weren't hurt in these situations.

I find that in order to insure my safety, it's best to always have a prepared answer of "no" in your head, and to always be skeptical of people. This may seem combative, but it will protect you in many ways. It's also beneficial to be assertive. If this doesn't come to you naturally, then you can observe other assertive people and learn to mimic them.
So for the second one with the woman, when she suggested you take a bath to clean up, you could have firmly said "No. I have to go home now. Thank you. Goodbye." The trick is to be unwavering/unyielding, certain of yourself and to not give them the opportunity to counter you, or to stall you. You can practice this with sales people, particularly the overly pushy ones in the center of malls (with the small cart shops). Because of my personality type, this comes easily to me (most of the time), but others can master it too .

I got over it because I realized that this sort of thing doesn't happen frequently at all.

Maybe go with somebody for the first few times.

Then, after a while, you'll realize you'll be okay using normal precautions.

Many times, confronting your fears makes your fears go away. I've don this a few times.