I have little to no will to live

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I have no idea what to do or where to go for help. I have no friends, no one to talk to, no hope, a huge debt from my suicide attempt, a family who hates me as much as I hate them... I can't gather the will to do anything... I'm so f*****g alone. Nothing will change this. I'd welcome death. I don't know what I hope to achieve by posting this.

Surely it's not worth killing yourself over.

I'm sure there are those out there who'd be struck hard if you attempted suicide again. Who got concerned over you when you last tried to? It's a good Litmus test to see if there are any out there who'd care for you.

You're calling out for help because you want to feel relief. You have too much pain right now and don't know what to do. I'm blatantly ripping off some great information from a website called metanoia. You've probably read it before. Please read it again. I've done it many times when I was in crisis and I just couldn't deal. Finally I would break down and cry, and I felt better. It's the damn numbness that makes you want to give up, the uncaring, not the sadness. Let yourself be sad. Remember, you have to be alive to feel relief, and I want you to feel a little of that soon and a lot down the road.

Really, it might seem dumb, but try reading the page, even if you already have.

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

I dont like being here among humans, but there are things you can do, things you like, there is soo much amazing things in the world, there must be something that is interesting for you, I am 100% uninterested in people, but there is so much more to life, the beauty of the universe, the symmetry of a leaf, the marvel of a cell, the mystery of numbers, ...... mayby you like music, or art, find something and stop worrying about people. And no need to call for death, death is assured, why hurry towards him?

I'm so sorry to hear that You seem like a pretty cool person from what I've read so far. This world is kind of short on short on cool people, so I really hope you don't deprive us of your company. I really, really do.

I used to chat with a guy called KingCrimson in a chat room called Alamak about ten years ago. I don't know if you're the same guy, but I've been meaning to ask.

You've got it wrong. You do have an idea what to do or where to go, because you posted here. So, although you may not know what you hope to achieve, you must have a vague idea that posting might help you. If you think about that for a bit, you might get some insight into what could help you. Then it might be worth posting again.

So, you do have people here to talk to; you must have some hope in order to post here, and you can gather the will to make the post. These are starting points. Furthermore, look at it this way: if things are so bad as you say, then they can only improve! Therefore there is cause for hope and optimism.

Everyone's got their problems, and I guess most people here have got problems which are in many ways similar to yours. Yet we manage to survive. So can you. You will find it will help if you talk to us about your problems, your feelings and what is happening to you. Try it, anyhow!

You are among people who accept you for who you are here.


I know that life can be hard sometimes, but I also know, and want you to believe, that it can get better. I won't tell you that it will be easy, but it is worth the effort to go on. We are willing to love and support you here, so please don't do anything to hurt yourself.


Two things to do while you look for more immediate help:

1. Name something you enjoy doing, no matter how minor. Whether this is a walk in the park, listening to the radio, or peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Now go do it. Focus on enjoying it.

2. Name something about yourself you like. This can be your smile, your sense of humor, your ability to make the perfect peanut butter and banana sandwich, whatever. Write it down. Feel good about it.


I will not tell you to cheer up, because that's like telling someone in a car accident to just quit bleeding, but I will tell you "Good Luck."

Please don't kill yourself. I've been at rock bottom before and yes, it feels like complete s**t. You don't want to do anything anymore, and getting out of bed to see the sunlight is a chore. Even putting on clothes doesn't seem worth it. All you want to do is sleep. And you can't even manage that.

But, as impossible as it sounds, there IS hope. After my suicide attempts, I realized that there was a small chance that it would get better. Though it was barely visible to my eyes, others saw what I could have lost if I went through it, and they saw hope that I couldn't see myself.
If you want, you can PM me and we could share our experiences, and you can get all the anger and sadness out by writing to someone, me. From the posts I've read that you wrote, you seem like an intelligent, worthwhile human being. And I'd love to talk to you, so you have my support.


-Sophie

I can't really offer much specific advice but I hope the time comes soon when you are feeling less desperate and some hope returns.

Everything changes and if you live long enough that becomes somewhat comforting. Uncertainty is the only certainty and that is something we aspies have difficulties with. We want everything to be certain, predictable. But knowing this can set you free: just float along and hold onto the things which bring you joy.

Living with one's parents when there is an atmosphere of conflict can be emotionally destructive. If you are of age, then think about living on your own, on your own terms. Create an environment you can handle, one that makes you feel comfortable. Depression comes from stress and anxiety. We live with high levels of both on a daily basis. You may have low levels of seratonin right now. Stress and anxiety depletes seratonin and that is simply a fact. Your feelings are regulated by neurotransmitters.

Taking an anti-depressant for about 6 weeks, long enough to replenish my seratonin, helps me when I feel disconsolate. Perhaps you should think about raising your seratonin levels and making a paradigm adjustment and remembering things always change. There is emotional entropy to consider: things always moving towards a state of disorder. You have to apply work to entropy and create emotional order. That's a plain fact of physics. It has nothing to do with anyone of us personally.

It takes years to learn to cope in this harsh world. Apply work to your emotional state and get yourself to a place where you can feel comfortable. Once you've done that, then you can move on.

Please understand that people here care. I feel a lot of empathy for you. Funny, isn't it, we're not supposed to be able to feel that.