Is it really worth it?

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For as long as I can remember, I've wanted a girlfriend. You could say it's been my obsession. When I was younger, my whole family placed enormous pressure on me. My grandmother would ask me on a weekly basis if I had a girlfriend, to which I always had to answer no. Then one day, the pressure from my family just stopped, like they had given up on me. All of my friends are married and made it out to be the best thing in the world, and whenever I got discouraged, they would recite bible verses out of context and leave it at that.

I've been rejected and heartbroken far more than my fair share, and not once has anyone been interested in relationship. I've been teased, humiliated, led on and lied to, more often than not. I'm hurting, depressed, and desperately lonely, but I'm left wondering, is it really worth all the pain and frustration to find someone to love me?

I find that to find love you have to stop searching for it. When you search for it you get all worried and fussed over it, whereas if you stop searching, you forget about it, and often fall upon it accidentally.

I'm well past the point where I think finding a girlfriend would be a great thing. I'm 37 years old by the way. I can remember when younger feeling intense excitement at the thought of having a girl friend. When anything changed in my life that made it remotely more likely (finding a girlfriend)my mind would run crazy thinking about the possibilities.

I'm at the point now where it nolonger something I get all hyped up about. I'm fairly certain I may have a girlfriend in the future but I'm not worried about it either way.

Just do what I did and find a good friend then coax them into pretending to pair up. I did this but ended up tempting fate - that's the only thing.

I appreciate the responses, really. But I'm not looking for answers on HOW to find love, I'm asking whether or not it's worth it to endure everything until I do. I can't just stop searching, anymore than I can become neuro-typical. This has been the single most driving force in my life and the only thing I've ever really wanted. My last heartbreak hurt so much that it even hurt me physically. I couldn't move, went into shock and almost died.

Part of me says it can't be worth this much pain and frustration, but I really don't know what I'm missing, so I can't judge for myself. I want to know if finding someone to really love me will outweigh all the suffering endured while searching, or if I'm just setting myself up for endless disappointment.

Hmm, that's a hard question to answer. It'll definitely make you feel less lonely, if that's what you're looking for in love, and it'll also make you feel wanted and of course, loved (but it also involves effort and commitment). If you don't know yourself about whether love is worth the effort to get those, then I can't help you any further (I'm only 16 ).

I was giving you answers on shutting your grandma up.

You should look for friends, not girlfriends. Friendships last longer and are more sincere, and you aren't limited to just one gender for friendships.

Not everybody is limited to just one gender for relationships either though.

Whether or not it's worth it is, ultimately, something for you to decide. You have to decide if you're going to give it another shot using the same strategy or using a different one, or take a dose of Fukitol™ and don't bother with it (by this, I mean don't bother, but sometimes I really do wish they'd make a Fukitol™ pill). With me, I've been on both sides. I've tried looking for love and I've tried letting it find me. Both times I got burnt. For now, I'm taking my daily dose of Fukitol™ (meaning that if you decide to not bother, don't make it permanent unless you really wanna make it permanent, and I know people who've done this and are happy with it) and focusing on more important things for my life. Relationships, girlfriends, marriage, etc. aren't part of my current goals. I don't know if they ever will and right now, I really don't care.

Then again, I'm one of those people who's comfortable in their own skin. I don't need a social network, girlfriend, or friends to be happy. I know how to keep communications and relationships impersonal so I can still accomplish my goals and what I set out to do without problems.

I think it's worth it if you take your time!

I feel for you; I spent a lot of time looking for that special someone at one time. In the end, I found that I first had to feel good about myself and love myself first. It also helps to have a few good "platonic" friends, especially if they can be supportive; this helps a lot in helping you to learn the self-love that we all need. WP might just be a good place to start; we all need support systems to keep from going crazy, and to help us learn about ourselves. In the end, only you can answer your own question as to whether it's worth enduring the pain, but I think that you will find that life is an adventure, and that it is in the journey that we dicover who we are. I think that you may be bipolar as well; this is common among Aspies, and I personally know how frustrating that can be too, so you have my heartfelt sympathy there. But no matter how tough it gets, just keep on trying, it's all any of us can do in the end.