Do autistic men have more priviledge than NT women?

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It seems as a male I must check my priviledge, where is it? do I get discounts at the men's warehouse? I get bulied and harrased by both men and women because I am autistic, but since I am a heterosexual male I should check my privilege, I don't see it I just get demonized from both genders and bullied and most feminists dont give two s**ts about autistic men so their comments are invalid!Wtf is the equality? I don't see it so if you are male with autism you have more privilege than an NT woman regardless of more discrimination you face than an NT woman faces and with the male part your labeled as a potential rapist by feminists even though you have never raped or have the interest in raping anyone but more scared of everyone and just wanting to fit in but just being seen as a freak! Lets not forget autistic men abused and or sexually abused by women or mentally abused by women or even raped by women but yes autistic men need to check their priviledge! I don't see it. All I see is the encouragement of feeling ashamed of existing!

No answer then? I guess it shows autistic are just as privileged or less privileged than NT women!

Ya know what as a male who's been drugged and raped by a female I find this all very distasteful. Don't use my experience and several other people's experience as a sounding board for your own misogyny if you've never actually experienced it. I don't blame all women for the one rotten c**nt that violated me and most female rape survivors don't blame all men, but that doesn't mean they won't be cautious around them, just as I am around women. Rape only takes a short time, it's effects are lifelong, it's in many ways worse than autism and you're using it like it's a f*****g joke.

The type of women you're complaining about are the exact same as you-- they take someone's personal horror story, spin it way out of control until there can't be a rational discussion about the issue, and just look for a fight about it. It makes no progress, it's not helpful, and all it does is piss people off. Furthermore, you're doing this on a board that has females that are the exact ones at risk, or have actually experienced rape and abuse, not the females that are making the statements that piss you off. If you hear a female with a misandry syndrome fight with her about it. You don't need to feel ashamed for existing, but you do need to get a grip and start finding the source of your anger because it's probably not the people that you're trying to f**k with here on this forum.

Well you know my friend welcome to reality, I was also raped and beaten by my ex fiance, not drugged though but driven to the point of attempting suicide! It seems that you are new too this site and dont understand me one single bit I have negative flashbacks but I should just suck it up and just get over it and just let women be abusive towards men? So you support women abusing and raping men and for society not giving a flying f**k about it? Would you like to share my flashbacks and both mental and physical scars with urges of suicide? Welcome to reality my friend I know how the real world works! Maybe you get into deep depression and want to kill yourself many times and feel worthless abnd have no purpous to exist because that is how I feel. You act as If I dont know? I have been there and have been feeling it for the past ten years! I trust nobody anymore! They will destroy me! They will beat me, they will rape me, they will mentally abuse me and convince me I am worthless and useless, not only was I abused by my ex but by my stepfather and have dealt with that mental abuse for 20 years! He has stalked me online a few times even after getting away from him and he has raped my sister! My Ex was just frosting on the cake! But she has done as much damage as my stepdad has! To Hell with humanity!Do you wish to trade my past with your? Experience over 20+ years of abuse and suicide attempts followed by nightmares and flash backs for the past decade? By all means do it your not going to like it and I wish for someone to take this burden off me but I do not wish for someone to suffer the same!

Perhaps I should hook you up with my ex even though I got a restraining order against her so she can rape you beat you and chase you with a kitchen knife and laugh at you as you slit your wrists and tell you how worthless you are, would you like that? Maybe I should get a hold of her so she can have another victim to torture and destroy!She will laugh at you and not care if you attempt suicide! She laughed at me as slit my wrists on christmas eve in2005! You can have her she will destroy you too and make you feel worthless and useless and have no purpous existing! Go Look for Aspen Roderick I dare you thats my Ex!So I have a female friend in the same situatation before me and look out for her well being and she has a better boyfriend than this as*hole she was with and see her as another sister to me!

Good, that explains a lot. Now we can have a real discussion about this, because it's not "women" that are the issue here, it's people and personality types. Not all women are rapists, in fact percentage wise very few are, same with men although the percentages are higher. The number one issue to confront isn't the group the abuser is part of, but the abuser herself-- what personality type did she have, how did she operate to get you into that position? You said she was your ex, so that tells me that she manipulated your trust for a long time to gain access, if so what techniques did she use? If you can answer those questions you can avoid that personality type and those situations and techniques in the future-- that's control, that gives you power.

But lumping every other female in as the same as her, that doesn't give you power-- it may make you feel good for a little bit, but it won't solve anything and it certainly won't give you control. Has that approach actually helped you get over the event itself, because it doesn't seem like it has. We have common ground here, let me help you find solutions that work for you without creating a s**t storm in your path because that kind of thing never ends, it just keeps getting bounced around and bounced around until everyone is miserable. That's the problem with the "men are all rapists" feminists that you don't like, they've either experienced it or know someone who has and are reacting very much like you are now- looking at the group as the perpetrator as opposed to the actual individual rapist as the problem. Rapists are rapists, they come in all shapes, colors, sexes, and sexualities-- if you can get over that anger towards the group and focus it on the rape itself you'll feel a lot better, you'll feel empowered, and real healing will happen. PM if you ever need to sound off on this issue, as I said earlier I've been through it too and I was lucky enough to recover from it.

As for an abusive father, that's beyond my expertise so I won't even attempt to touch that one with a 10 foot pole, but know I have compassion for you and your sister for the situation you were put in.

All that said, I don't like making enemies, but I will fight back against sexism-- whether it's directed at females or males.

Well said Aristphanes. People opening up like this is helping me a lot, knowing where they are coming from. It helps me understand the posts.

[MOVED from PPR to the Haven]

Sorry, your right the way I have been acting has not fixed anything and has led me to act like those radical feminists. I have been casting stones in a glass house, I am sorry for over reacting and lashing off like that I tend to get emotional at times. The personality type she had was controlling, compulsive, narcasistic, and at times sociopathic she had occasional violent streaks and was very forceful if things did not go her way, she would coerce me into stuff I would not do unless I was in the mood and if I did not do it she would threaten to falsly spread rumors that I beat her if I did not do what she says. She would burn me with cigarettes and at times chase me with a kitchen knife, she would purpously trigger my melt downs and laugh at me and continue to tell me I am worthless as I self harm. She would purpously invade my space and interrupt my routines, this was the kind of person she is. She would get mad at me for no reason and make up excuses and say stuff like "its because your a man and like all men you are worthless" "your worthless, useless and a pushover" "wtf are you hurting yourself? are you trying to gain my pity? Hahaha your so pathetic!" "have sex with me I dont care if your not in the mood or feeling depressed if you don't, I will tell the neighbors you beat me and they will believe me because I am a woman and you are a man" Stuff like that.

This is why it makes little sense trying to quantify privilege. Take someone like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsJ154jWRsU I think we would all agree trying to tell someone like this, or the women and men trying to care for him, to check their privilege would be obscene. And so is the case for the great majority of those who fall within the spectrum. It is not as if their race or gender privilege card is magically making these struggles vanish.

Yes, she sounds like a very sadistic person. I'm sorry you had to go through that. You don't need to apologize for the outburst, I get it.

I'd highly recommend staying away from controlling females for dating options-- you know that could be a trigger for bad behavior. Not every controlling female will try to abuse you, but in your case I would check them off the list of women to date or associate with because they'll only bring up bad feelings and of course there's always that possibility of them going too far. Make boundaries for yourself, how far you're willing to let someone interact with you-- if one of them asks you to go past those limits explain to them that based on previous experiences you're not allowing that. A common tactic I've seen in this case is for them to question your masculinity when confronted with a no: explain to them masculinity has nothing to do with, it's a personal safety issue. If they say you're weak, say you're strong enough to say no. If they keep hammering away at whatever the limit you set is, find the strength to leave the situation-- they are obviously not good for your health if they can't accept your limits and they're not worth your time.

Your case is very different than mine, I was very young-- almost 15 and I didn't know the female in question. You were psychologically abused as well as physically abused, I'm not sure exactly what the procedure is for overcoming psychological abuse so I apologize, I can't help you there.

I do understand why you have a problem with women though-- it's hard to see them as anything but an abuser. Realize this is not the case, the abuser you faced was one in a million. Also realize that females abusing males are not a common occurrence and it will be hard for people to A. believe you and B. identify with you. It's a double standard I agree, but there's also nothing we can do about it but bring it up when someone mentions rape as a general subject. If a female mentions rape and abuse in a discussion tell them your experience, let them know it's not just a one sided phenomenon-- it does go both ways and it's equally destructive to both genders. Explain to them if they want to talk about rape you're willing to talk about rape as long as it's without gender bias. They will have a point that females are raped by males at a much higher rate then the other way around-- counter by saying that if we're only including one side of the rape issue we're not actually talking about rape we're talking about identity politics at that point and you're concerned only with preventing rape.

Also realize that the hardcore feminists you're talking about in most of your posts have either been indoctrinated and brainwashed just like the men's right's activists on the other side have been brainwashed or they themselves have been wronged like us but don't have the courage to work through the pain themselves. If it's the later, it's unfortunate, but there's nothing we can do and arguing with them will solve nothing. Winning an argument is only a temporary high, it's not a long term solution for grief management. Ignore those people on both sides-- all they do is take people that are hurting and use them as pawns for a fight that neither side really wants to end.

It's a raw deal-- you didn't ask for this, but you're the only one capable of overcoming it. Realize that trust and happiness can be found on the other side but you're going to have to work on improving those aspects yourself. The reward is worth it. You didn't ask for this, but when you overcome it you will realize that you overcame something that most people don't have the internal strength to overcome-- it's a type of self confidence most people will never get to experience.

I would like to add that I've been here for about 3 years, but only the last year or so as a registered member-- I lurk more than I post. I've read a lot of your posts and I didn't know your history with the subject. I also read a lot of posts by females here who have been abused in similar ways to you. There are some bad apples here on both sides, but there are a lot of women here who can relate to your story-- would you rather those women be support or enemies? Like I said earlier, I know it's hard not seeing them all as enemies because of your experience-- but why deny yourself friendship with all the good ones because you ran into one tremendously horrible one?

I'm done responding in this thread. I apologize if I gave you a meltdown yesterday-- that wasn't my intention, but as you well know there aren't many male rape survivors so I do take great offence when someone uses it without clarifying it's actually happened to them. I hope you're able to overcome this issue and project a healthy attitude towards women because that's the only way you will attract the good ones. If you ever have issues or need to talk about it send me a PM. Good luck.

This is a very interesting thread and I appreciate the responses. I'm working through some issues of my own right now and it's sobering to hear other stories.

One thing I will agree on. Autistic people of both sexes are at a higher risk of abuse than the general population.

I honestly didn't read everything because it's difficult for me to read but it's also appreciated.

Ill take your advice and I forgive you, your alright and I am surprised you understand me more than most people, is it perhaps the similar situations? Your alright man. I just get into these cycles and get over emotional and vent after I have flash backs and these cycles suck and it does not solve anything. I blame myself at times for getting with a monster and moving in with her just to get away from another monster who is my stepdad and I love this woman and trusted her but once after i moved in with her after a few months her true colors show and I fell for it, and after that I nearly killed myself and ended up living with my stepdad who is just as bad for the next 5 years only to be rescued by my sister and get out of that mess.

...This seems very deeply emotional...

Sorry guys for getting all emotional and making a pointless thread on PPR that should have been haven based, I let my BS flashbacks get to me and act like a drama queen again, I gave way way too much info about my past and aristo opened me up big time maybe not in a bad way but an understanding way, excuse me as I go afk a bit and cry because I am crying yes I am a man and crying I hurt deep inside but at the time understand and my emotions are going haywire at this moment. People are gonna laugh at me for crying but I dont care anymore, it hurts but feels better and I have been holding in for so god damn long I need to let it out! I feel both happy and sad at the same time I dont know what is wrong with me!

I don't know if its important or not but my female abuser took my virginity when I was 17 and she was 18, and because of that I was emotionally attached and thought I had something but on the flipside the 20s in my years were long lost after that. We broke up she moved away and we got back together and I saved her from a situation of being homeless and her personality changed when we lived together and s**t hit the fan and I was destroyed and made into the whiny b***h I am!