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Ecomatt91
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18 Sep 2015, 4:17 pm

Gosh why white lies has to be a way to live life with?! I don't do that to people, and never will. I am staying honest and careful kind of person.

I am not how to say this but my friends seems suspicious to me for having a white lie against me. I fear it got something to do with not wanting to hang out nor invite me to things. I always being on my own and doesn't get an invite.



Noca
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18 Sep 2015, 9:50 pm

Lies certainly aggravate me. I let the person know that I know they are lying, lies, inconsistencies, bs all stick out like a sore thumb to me and if they don't stop I will lose all respect for them.



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18 Sep 2015, 10:08 pm

But sometimes white lies make people alive.


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Ecomatt91
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18 Sep 2015, 10:19 pm

Drawyer wrote:
But sometimes white lies make people alive.


No its not. Lies is part of being dishonest. Dishonesty makes things negative and will make you worse.



Noca
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18 Sep 2015, 10:51 pm

Ecomatt91 wrote:
Drawyer wrote:
But sometimes white lies make people alive.


No its not. Lies is part of being dishonest. Dishonesty makes things negative and will make you worse.

Yeah, dishonesty in general sucks. From misrepresentation, to omission to intellectual dishonesty, to white lies, to outright lies, to half truths, all make me wanna rip my hair out after encountering enough of them.



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19 Sep 2015, 12:11 am

If a mother was killed in a car accident today, if you were the father of the mother's son what would you say to your son? Where would you say to him she's gone? How would say to him she died? Are you going to say to him that your mother is going to be six feet under decomposing? Sometimes the truth is too brutal.


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corroonb
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19 Sep 2015, 2:00 am

White lies sometimes annoy me. Mostly when people tell me lies about myself so I'll feel better. I often tell lies about myself. When someone asks me how I am, I usually just say that I'm okay when I'm often not. Sometimes people tell me that everything will work out. This may be a white lie but the intention is to make someone feel better without causing any harm. White lies are mostly harmless and are a useful device socially.



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19 Sep 2015, 9:36 am

Drawyer wrote:
If a mother was killed in a car accident today, if you were the father of the mother's son what would you say to your son? Where would you say to him she's gone? How would say to him she died? Are you going to say to him that your mother is going to be six feet under decomposing? Sometimes the truth is too brutal.


I actually would. It's even more important to be fully honest with children. Especially when it comes to bereavement.

With adults, however, white lies seem to be a 'social lubricant'. I would imagine that in some lines of work it would be an important skill.



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19 Sep 2015, 9:55 am

Inle wrote:
Drawyer wrote:
If a mother was killed in a car accident today, if you were the father of the mother's son what would you say to your son? Where would you say to him she's gone? How would say to him she died? Are you going to say to him that your mother is going to be six feet under decomposing? Sometimes the truth is too brutal.


I actually would. It's even more important to be fully honest with children. Especially when it comes to bereavement.

With adults, however, white lies seem to be a 'social lubricant'. I would imagine that in some lines of work it would be an important skill.


Lies can be harmful, and lies can be helpful. It depends on how and why they are told. Even animals lie, apes have been seen in the wild to deceive other apes about the availability of food, so that they can keep it to themselves. Born Liars, is a good book to learn about lying, its a fun read and informative. The make-up i have on now is a lie, i am choosing to deceive people into thinking i don't have bags under my eyes and that i did sleep last night, and that the three doughnuts i ate the other day are not affecting the smoothness of my skin :D


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19 Sep 2015, 10:42 am

InsomniaGrl wrote:
Inle wrote:
Drawyer wrote:
If a mother was killed in a car accident today, if you were the father of the mother's son what would you say to your son? Where would you say to him she's gone? How would say to him she died? Are you going to say to him that your mother is going to be six feet under decomposing? Sometimes the truth is too brutal.


I actually would. It's even more important to be fully honest with children. Especially when it comes to bereavement.

With adults, however, white lies seem to be a 'social lubricant'. I would imagine that in some lines of work it would be an important skill.


Lies can be harmful, and lies can be helpful. It depends on how and why they are told. Even animals lie, apes have been seen in the wild to deceive other apes about the availability of food, so that they can keep it to themselves. Born Liars, is a good book to learn about lying, its a fun read and informative. The make-up i have on now is a lie, i am choosing to deceive people into thinking i don't have bags under my eyes and that i did sleep last night, and that the three doughnuts i ate the other day are not affecting the smoothness of my skin :D


Sounds like an interesting read, I'll have to look out for it.

My father died shortly after my ninth birthday, he'd suffered a brain hemorrhage and everyone knew that he would either die, or be in a vegetative state. I wasn't told that he was dying, all I heard for the following fortnight was: 'When Daddy gets better....' and 'When Daddy is out of hospital....'
I'm sure people meant well, but all they did was rob me of closure, I had no chance to say goodbye to my father, because nobody gave me the opportunity. It also made me very anxious for years afterwards that people might be dying, when they were ill/injured, and that everyone was lying to me if they said otherwise.
I am always open with my son, completely transparent, and yes, he gets upset, but he can be sure of what I tell him.



InsomniaGrl
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19 Sep 2015, 10:51 am

Inle wrote:
InsomniaGrl wrote:
Inle wrote:
Drawyer wrote:
If a mother was killed in a car accident today, if you were the father of the mother's son what would you say to your son? Where would you say to him she's gone? How would say to him she died? Are you going to say to him that your mother is going to be six feet under decomposing? Sometimes the truth is too brutal.


I actually would. It's even more important to be fully honest with children. Especially when it comes to bereavement.

With adults, however, white lies seem to be a 'social lubricant'. I would imagine that in some lines of work it would be an important skill.


Lies can be harmful, and lies can be helpful. It depends on how and why they are told. Even animals lie, apes have been seen in the wild to deceive other apes about the availability of food, so that they can keep it to themselves. Born Liars, is a good book to learn about lying, its a fun read and informative. The make-up i have on now is a lie, i am choosing to deceive people into thinking i don't have bags under my eyes and that i did sleep last night, and that the three doughnuts i ate the other day are not affecting the smoothness of my skin :D


Sounds like an interesting read, I'll have to look out for it.

My father died shortly after my ninth birthday, he'd suffered a brain hemorrhage and everyone knew that he would either die, or be in a vegetative state. I wasn't told that he was dying, all I heard for the following fortnight was: 'When Daddy gets better....' and 'When Daddy is out of hospital....'
I'm sure people meant well, but all they did was rob me of closure, I had no chance to say goodbye to my father, because nobody gave me the opportunity. It also made me very anxious for years afterwards that people might be dying, when they were ill/injured, and that everyone was lying to me if they said otherwise.
I am always open with my son, completely transparent, and yes, he gets upset, but he can be sure of what I tell him.


Sorry you had such a hard time then. I agree sometimes the lies people tell to protect us do more harm than good.


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Ecomatt91
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20 Sep 2015, 6:41 am

Lies is simply dishonesty. I think its quite stereotypical to go through why lies are good sometimes. Its put things down. Honesty always make things assertive. Like how I talk and interact with people socially is to be assertive. So being assertive is not capable of lying.



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23 Sep 2015, 4:17 pm

Ecomatt91 wrote:
Lies is simply dishonesty. I think its quite stereotypical to go through why lies are good sometimes. Its put things down. Honesty always make things assertive. Like how I talk and interact with people socially is to be assertive. So being assertive is not capable of lying.


Being assertive is not capable of lying? Wth? I supposed you never met a car salesman then, huh?


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Caelum
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24 Sep 2015, 2:33 pm

Drawyer wrote:
If a mother was killed in a car accident today, if you were the father of the mother's son what would you say to your son? Where would you say to him she's gone? How would say to him she died? Are you going to say to him that your mother is going to be six feet under decomposing? Sometimes the truth is too brutal.


This isn't something you should ever lie about. Open honest communication is required for heavy, important topics.
That being said, inaccuracy isn't the same as dishonesty. When the topic is unimportant, or part of a standard greeting, then white lies are just fine. For instance, how are you doing today? In almost all cases the person asking me this doesn't really care, it's just part of the social choreography that is embedded in my surrounding culture. So I say, fine, or OK, or some platitude because it is part of what people expect. I'll even ask the question myself, because it is what people around here expect and want to hear.
People say they care about honesty, but I've found it is more important to meet expectations. Obviously, if I have no intention of completing a project, it is better to admit this than let the person find out on their own, but if it takes me 40 minutes and they ask if it took me about a half hour, I'll just say yeah, and we'll both move on with our lives.
It's not quite accurate. But it's not really worth the awkwardness of explaining it out, as words are a somewhat pitiful excuse for a medium of emotional exchange.
Good luck and stay safe.



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24 Sep 2015, 3:42 pm

Generally lying is not good imo, with few exceptions.



Drawyer
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24 Sep 2015, 5:48 pm

I'm learning your trait. The trait that you have hard time distorting, omitting any kind of truth, which makes you guys pure and beautiful.
If it's not impossible to tell the truth, it's better not to white lie. :D


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