I hate weekends

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All of my friends have their families to go to on the weekends. I am left without companionship, without work to go to, without much motivation to do much of anything except get plastered in solitude.

Only now I am not drinking. That means I am just staying in bed, praying that I can stay asleep until Monday morning.

I usually feel suicidal on most weekends, since the only option I have is isolation.

I hate this very much.

Isolation sure fuckig sucks when you are depressed. Find something that can fill the time even if whatever the activity is doesn't accomplish anything, ie finding an excuse to go to a grocery store just to pick up one item. Just distract yourself.

Do something you enjoy and can do on your own, such as playing games (I play online Scrabble), drawing, reading, whatever you find interesting. You could even go jogging if you so wish, because that increases serotonin levels.

I want you to succeed and have seen the progress you've made to let go of the past. I am proud of you. You have already accomplished much. I identify with a lot of what you've been through.

PM me if you wish.

Keep going! It's not always easy but it can be done.

No work to do is f*****g awesome man, the only problem is that you don't know how to use it.
The way I see it is that your weekends are like a blank sheet of paper where you have lots of free time. You could do many things. You just don't know what to do. So you're bored and on top of that feel isolated.

Im curious why you say the only option you have is isolation though...
From my point of view you could go to a flee market or something and haggle a bit with the money you save from not drinking.

If you want a decent surrogate for social interaction I'd recommend to watch some twitch streams and joke around with the people in the chat. It can definitely help with getting over the feeling of isolation for a while.

I think I am going to hit a used bookstore on the way home from work today, and pick up some goodies that I can sink my teeth into when the isolation starts to hit.

I used to be an avid reader. I spent most of my middle and high school days with my nose deep within whatever I was reading. It got to the point where my parents often took my books away to discipline me when I misbehaved at school.

I just finished a large volume of Anton Chekhov's short stories, perhaps I should think about what I will move onto from there.

I guess that discipline put me off reading for a while. I stopped reading because I often was halfway through a book I got from the library before my parents returned it as punishment. I started watching anime and playing video games instead, and now I am finding those things are not nearly as rewarding as they used to be.

That's a shame. I love weekends, even though im not a student nor an employee anymore.
Why don't you try spending them somewhere else?Sometimes it only takes a short trip somewhere to put things in perspective

You sound like me. But, I only get that feeling because I have lost the structure of work on the weekends and I am totally lost without that structure. During the week, when I get home at night and I am by myself- I feel just dandy! Because I know that tomorrow I will be heading back into a predictable schedule.

On the weekends, I guess the isolation sinks in more because there is nothing there to distract you from it. I would buy some books as well, or maybe join an online class or something where you can interact with others on the weekend too. If you have any special interests, I would focus on them too. Books are indeed a great idea!