I am considering suicide

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Please move this to the Haven, as cloudfare won't let me post in it.

...It's the easy way out. My new neighbour in the place I've moved to, happens to shut her doors really heavily, or slams them. I can't bear it anymore. It makes me physically jump.

All the people I've ever fallen out with, I don't have anything to say to them. I don't have anything to say to my family, or anyone I currently know, before I go. I don't know when I'll leave.

Goodbye, soon everyone.

I shunned by friends and family too, I have lost so many friends I am numb to it. Don't know what I can say to help other than I've been very suicidal too, I have been trying to hang myself for weeks now. I always chicken out, I did it once a few days ago and even lost consciousness but unfortunately survived. I think I have the knot right now but I don't know, its kinda just hanging there. I know no one would miss me but I guess I carry on knowing that there is some kinda of purpose for me.

You have to believe that too. Just stay strong and know that suicide is not the answer and it doesn't matter what people think of you. I don't know what else to say, I have been suicidal for a while but didn't post here cause I didn't want you guys concerned. Or banned more like it, I doubt anyone cares.

Please don't do it, Smudge.

You're a person with lots of actual accomplishments, as well as potential.

I, myself, would miss you.

To the OP, my neighbor "The Biatch" does the same thing with her door and I jump every damn time. I've had to change my way of life after she came over and almost beat my front door in just for exercising in my own living room. She can make all the noise she wants but expects everyone else to be as quiet as church mice. Well screw that and screw her! I'd be damned if I gave her the satisfaction of killing myself just because she acts like a complete ASS! Instead, I've chosen to not be scared of her and have even given back a few doses of her own medicine. Don't let people push you around - you have the right to be here just as much as they do!

It isn't to do with lack of people liking me or being shunned. I haven't cared about that for years. I just want the horrible noise to stop, my eczema to stop. I want to eat real food again. I can't even treat myself anymore for feeling down. It's HORRIBLE.

As for accomplishments, I don't have any.

I bang the floor hard when it happens. It's an old lady downstairs too.

I REACT TO EVERY FOOD I F*CKING EAT. I CAN'T TURN MY NECK OR EVEN SMILE OR EVEN TALK BECAUSE MY ECZEMA IS SO BAD MY SKIN CRACKS AND BLEEDS. MY FACE IS COVERED WITH IT AND PEOPLE GIVE ME FUNNY LOOKS ALL THE F*CKING TIME. I CAN HARDLY EAT ANYTHING AND I'VE LOST A LOT POF WEIGHT BECAUSE OF IT. YES IT IS WORTH KILLING MYSELF OVER. I HATE MY LIFE AND I WANT TO DIE.

I can certainly relate to the sensory hell that comes with bad health. I have had a stroke and tongue reconstruction surgery that has landed me in the hospitals and rehabilitation facilities this year. People sticking me with needles, people screaming, cursing at all hours of the day, every day. I can't eat or talk meaning more interruptions to pour food in my feeding tube. For noise even when my health was good I have used white noise machines or just the music I like. I took me awhile but I have learned to use my natural hyper focus. None of this is a cure, easy, or a quick fix but it can ease things somewhat.

I would like to see you around again. You were one of the active, insightful posters when I first joined here a couple of years ago. I hope this health an sensory crises is temporary as it probably is.

I'm sorry you have to go through all this.

You're going through a bad time.

Death won't solve this.

Would you consider a hospital? Maybe they could help, both with the depression and, while you were there, with your eczema and eating problematic .

Also are they giving you medicine that is making you feel worse that they could change? I've known people who became very distraught from medicine for asthma and eczema and other allergic conditions. If that's the case they might be able to correct things for you.

Please keep trying.

Just wanted to express my compassion for all who are hurting, physically or emotionally. I was suicidal for most of my life (though I'm not anymore) and I know how awful it feels.

Everyone who has posted in this thread is someone whose opinions I have read here in the past, and appreciated. Your presence here matters. You would be missed.

Stress causes Eczema http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/eczema/treatment-11/eczema-stress
Hers a paragraph from the above:- "If you find that your eczema flares up right before a big presentation or in the middle of tax season, it’s no coincidence. Experts have known for years that stress can make eczema worse. In fact, a branch of medicine, called psychodermatology, examines how the mind affects the skin.

"During times of stress, the inflammation in the skin increases, as a way to protect the skin from harm,"

What you must do is go to your doctor, tell him you are about to commit suicide to escape the stress and distress your current situation is putting you in, show him what it is doing to your skin and how that is making you feel even more stressed.
He will be obliged to refer you to mental health, they will help you get social services to act.

When I was in my twenties and in a bedsit, I was close to suicide. Now I often think, "I am a glad I didn't commit suicide as I wouldn't be here now to enjoy this, even little things like the latest series of the walking dead.
Things do change as time passes, something unexpected comes along to change your circumstances, you have to be there to experience them though.

I want to go to the Christmas market with you again and to stumble across creepy museums, I like your company.

hey, i like seeing you around. i'm a fan of the kind of wit you emanate. it'll be missed.

No! Please don't! Realize that most people do, well, suck. Those who are not your friends now are not your friends for a reason. You are precious and deserve to live your life happily!

What alternatives have you thought about Smudge?

Is there one small thing you can take charge of to start off with, like wearing ear putty/plugs/defenders?

I too would miss your wit.