Hobbies are pointless

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I've come more and more to a realisation over the last few months. Which I'll state later in my post.

First, I'll give a little background. I'm 25, nearly 26. I've been employed as a software engineer at a small company for three and a half years. I would say I've never had any friends in real life. You could say that people I know through family are my friends, or that my colleagues at work are my friends, but I would rather just say that they and I are "friendly" rather than "being friends", because I don't ever actually make an attempt to go out and interact with anyone; we don't ever see each other for the sake of seeing each other. That has always been the case, through my childhood, school life, university life up to today.

I used to consider myself as having a lot of hobbies. I used to play a lot of videogames. I used to do a lot of hobby programming, it hardly ever got anywhere but I still enjoyed it. I used to post on a lot of forums. I used to chat to people online, a lot. There was a time that I felt that I had quite a few friends on the internet. I even considered that I had a few online relationships, though I never had any physical contact with those people (and never even saw the face or heard the voice of the one I consider most important).

I no longer play a lot of videogames. The number of different games I've played this year is a single digit, and half of them I haven't spent more than a few hours on.

I no longer do much hobby programming. The fact that programming is now my job has certainly played a big part in putting me off enjoying it as a hobby, but I'm sure that's not the only reason.

I no longer post on forums. Yes, I'm posting on a forum right now, and once in a blue moon I make a post over on a forum for road geeks or another forum for math geeks, but we're talking less than ten posts a month.

I no longer chat to people online very much. There's one person I still consider an online friend, but that's more that he's the only person I'm comfortable talking about really personal stuff than anything else; we still hardly ever talk. As for everyone else, it's usually just a case of "hey look at this cool thing I found on the internet" once in a while, then five minutes later the conversation's over and forgotten about.

And, yeah, that thing I said about having online relationships? When I think about it, there's been someone like that pretty constantly between 2005 and somewhere around 2012, but then it just kinda faded away.

So, that realisation I was coming to? I recall someone once saying about a famous mathematician or scientist (forget which one) that they only went far enough to know they could prove something, and no further. What I've realised is that I have the same problem. On the rare occasion when I find something new, or have a new idea, I have a little burst of excitement and activity where I start looking into it. If it's a mathematical thing, I'll start researching it or working through some cases; if it's a programming thing, I'll write a proof of concept; if it's a videogame, I'll play through the first few parts of the game. But as soon as it stops being a mystery to me, as soon as I understand that proof, or know that that algorithm works, or have figured out how to beat that game, I stop. And I'm no longer interested.

And when I'm no longer interested, I sit here on my thumbs wondering what to do. All day, if it's a weekend. And that's boring and depressing and leads to me writing a wall of text like this.

Why the subject "Hobbies are pointless"? Because all those things I might spend my time doing are hobbies. Things to enjoy in your spare time. Over time I've picked many hobbies, that I've talked about above. But no matter what hobby I pick, it very quickly reaches a point where it's no longer fun or interesting.

Social interaction and relationships might sound like they don't belong in this topic, but as far as my logical thinking mind is concerned having friends (or more) to chat to is just another hobby someone might have, and just another hobby that I've unintentionally gotten bored of.

There are so many things I want to do, but none of those things feels anywhere near worth the effort doing, and hasn't done for years.

Maybe you are generally bored.
Science research is one field in which you will never run out of things to figure out, then drop.

I have a similar problem with art, when i decide on a particular thing i want to draw or paint i am almost instantly bored of it. Its as if the deciding and wondering was the creative part, and actually realising it is boring. I quite like designing ideas, the process of constructing something, figuring out, testing how things work. I guess that is the fun part, trying to work something out. If you know how it works, the game is over. If you know how to do it, its no fun.
I have an image i want to draw at the moment, its from a photograph i took. I imagine i know how i will draw it, it feels dull and pointless to bother, even though the result would be good, and people would like.
The hunt i suppose is the fun part. The possibility of learning or doing something you have not done.

I love video games, too. I own over 100 games but sometimes I don't feel like playing and what I've learned is to play them anyway so I don't get into the habit of listening to music all day and sitting on my bed.

A lot of movies are really about real life relationships--finding a really good one is hard even for NTs with no social impairments.

The most satisfying hobby of all is gardening. I began in 1989 and it is more interesting now because I know so much more about it, and my skill level has increased with experience, trial and error. It's not pointless for me, it provides food and beauty in my life, outdoor activity and something beautiful to look at every day. It gives pleasure to my neighbours also. As a young person gardening would not have interested me as I liked to be able to upsticks and move to other places and countries, though now I have no desire to do that. I literally "put down roots!"

In a way, being "pointless" is kind of the point of a hobby. I can go to my attic workshop and, for an hour or two, just think about the model airplane I'm working on – and if I mess it up, or get tired of it and put it aside for a few months or years – it Just Doesn't Matter. There's no deadline, nobody's grading my work, I don't have to produce these things in order to pay my bills and buy milk for the baby. Stress level = zero.

In your case maybe you need to find a hobby which you can't quickly master. Anything crafty or artistic appeal to you? My wife knits; my stepsister creates award-winning quilts; a friend has taught himself piano and wants to play Beethoven sonatas. Anything like that can provide enough challenge for a lifetime.

I am puzzled about the videogames. A lot of games get harder and harder as you go in, or present new and varied challenges as you go in, and some fall into the category of easy to learn, hard to master. So how are you having trouble with finding value in them after just a few hours?

Maybe a thread in the gaming section of the forum might be able to uncover some games that will be resistant to the issues you face with them. Think about the ones that managed to keep you with them beyond just a few hours, and what it was that allowed them to stay interesting to you.