Having a meltdown right now!! !!

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I just got through having a meltdown, haven't had one in years. My so called friends from my last church where here at my apartment complex and I saw them and I just lost it. I don't even know why, I am not angry at them. I am so emotionally confused right now, I was enraged a minute ago and broke some stuff and listened to music to calm down and now I am totally sad and hurt and I don't know why. I have so many emotions and I don't know what they mean, I just wish I could escape right now. I am overloaded on everything, don't know what to do, help.

I don't know what I expect from this, I just bah right now and agh. I am done can't type.