Bored and Paranoid and Depressed....

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Well, I knew the happy state I was in before wouldn't hold out. Over the last few days, I've become depressed again, and today has really sunk me down further. Why?

Firstly, I got up at 5:30 AM so I could go with my mum to the Eumundi Markets (to meet my grandmother, whose birthday is tomorrow, or Sunday Aust time). This little place is about 2 hours drive from where I live. I brought along, as I am wont to do, some books. However, I am rarely at ease in crowds, mostly because they get in my way, and they're loud.

After meeting my grandmother, I split away from her and my mum, to look around these markets. Not a single f***ing bookshop in sight, or bookstall. Yes, there were stalls selling games and DVDs, but no f***ing books! I then had to wait a couple of hours at a designated waiting area until my mum and grandmother were ready. I got bored, even while reading a book I liked.

I later realised that while I do have books, I also have (at home) a freedom to do what I want and when I want, which is why I hate long trips.

Later, I went to a shopping centre, and who was there but the piece of puckered rectum that I have the misfortune to call dad. He told me about jobs (I am currently a student, and unemployed) that I had already seen on the internet (I may be unemployed, but I still keep an eye out for interesting jobs) and had dismissed because of certain qualifications I lacked (in the case involved, a manual driver's licence).

Later, after I came back home, he pulled up in front of our house (my mum was mowing at the time, she does the small front yard and I do the larger back yards, despite my protestations that I should do both) and talked to my mum. Now, he is an a***hole, but a friend of his, a doctor, is a bigger one, who was present when I showed dad my birthday watch. This doctor remarked 'was this the watch on special?' (the watch indeed had been half-price, but that was no concern of mine, or indeed his). I told my mum about this, and both of us keep each other's secrets. However, mum remarked to dad about the doctor's comment on my watch, and it was all I could do to show a bemused (rather than shocked) face. She later justified the comment (though apologising), as said doctor was an a***hole, a sentiment I wholeheartedly agree with, but I think she has just jeopardised my 'u pizzu' policy with my dad. ('U pizzu' is a fragment of the Italian to 'wet one's beak', in other words, 'getting a slice'.) Now, if I'd wanted to go out and openly hate my dad, fine, I wouldn't have minded that remark. But this.....


So, my state of mind, while improved from about an hour ago, can be summed up as such:

Bored

Paranoid

Depressed.

That is depressing...how can there be no book stores? Not even a small public library, however dilapidated it may be? I hope you feel better soon....

The only book store in that hick town (though the Eumundi markets are known throughout Queensland) is opening in 2 months. How cruel is that?

We had to wait ages just to get a book store here. I haven't seen it yet though.

And note that I was only in Eumundi for about 4 hours. I live on the Gold Coast. Hell, most towns I have been in have had at least two second-hand bookshops....

So true and 99% of time I'm on a trip other people are in 99% control of what I do. Thats why I prefer a simple life that I control to the more interesting life others want to
control for me.

Oh and the pre-internet days I so loved hanging out in libraries that I ounce walked nearly 30 miles to study chemistry