Living With Pain

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So my pain is twofold:

1) Back pain. I have aggravated an old injury and am in constant pain now. I saw my family doctor and she prescribed gabapentin for nerve pain and she ordered an x-ray. I am seeing her Monday regarding the results of the x-ray which came back much sooner than had been indicated to me by the technician. I fear there might be something wrong ... actually I know there is something wrong. I am more curious as to what it is. The injury occurred almost 20 years ago and I have neglected it. Now it is becoming a problem.

2) Love. I am totally in love with my much younger co-worker whom I know I cannot have a romantic relationship with. Mostly because I made my feeling apparent and he said "I don't have relationships with co-workers." Fair enough, but it doesn't change my total love for this guy. Truly I am a sad and broken old woman.

So I have learned that pain is constant and either you live with it or you die. And lessening it is always rewarding.

So maybe life is an education in the conscious lessening of pain.

I'm blithering a bit because I feel pushed to the edge. I'm doing okay at my job. I saw my psychiatrist yesterday and he is pleased that I am able to maintain a full time job. I think it should be "life, liberty and functionality" because the pursuit of happiness seems irrelevant.

Anyway, my question is: what is your pain and how do you live with it?

You are NOT an old woman! Heck no!

I bet your SpringChickenness would come out if you met the right guy.

I'm sorry about your back pain--does the medication have bad side effects?

There will be other guys. At least this guy was honest with you. He probably liked you--but didn't want to take the plunge because of the risks of relationships on the job. I've had a few relationships on the job myself; they ended either neutrally, or rather bad.

Back and joint pain: Aspirin and aspirin-laced adhesive plasters.

Emotional pain: Illogical. Emotions can not feel pain. Just because my father beat me as a child and the kids at school beat me and the teachers made fun of me and my family hasn't spoken to me in months and ... and ... ... WAAAAAAAAHH!

You're a sweetie, kraftie.


Not as bad as the pain and immobility.


Yeah, he's a good guy. Smarter than me even though he's younger.


I'm curious to know what the doctor has to say about the x-ray. The gabapentin helps, but it's a low dose.


Sweetie, you're going to have to feel this pain and be okay with it. You think it will make you weak, but it will make you stronger.

There is some osteoporosis and cartilage damage. He also wants to do another electro-myelogram.I've been dealing with the knowledge that I'm an unwanted child since I was 8. Yes, my parents "had to" get married about seven and a half months before I was born. Everything else precipitates from that.

"Dealing with it" is all I can do.

My father didn't want me. He bailed when I was 4.

My mother did though, so I was lucky there.

Not being wanted sucks. Nobody ever beat it into me, but I got the message. I guess it's best to leave it in the past, but I am haunted by memories.

That's it, "in a nutshell". Being unwanted, having an ASD, and having childhood allergies to just about everything ... I can't shake the memories, so I just deal with it - I ignore the feelings until I get the chance to express them with no one else around.

Physical? Sports & strain injuries are the big ones. Stuff like nerve pain from too much time at desks is the main thing but I've had countless sprains, a lot of dislocations (shoulders, cervical vertebrae, fingers, thumbs, wrists, jaw), fractures & bone chips (shin splints/cycling pedal gashes, ribs I think & mainly tailbone)...
And so I shall never touch semi-synthetic painkillers until I REALLY need some wisdom teeth gone. I usually make my living on deductive reasoning alone anyway.

The emotional is why I became an adrenaline junkie. Perhaps I'm lucky to have found that balance early on.

The only answer to that plus insomnia/sleep paralysis nibbling at my ankles is medical marijuana, friends.

Well....you're wanted now....by many of us on WP.

I was sort of "unwanted," too, in a way. I was "unexpected." My mother wanted to go to school to better herself....then I came along. It deferred her dreams for a while.

I hear ya friend. So true.


I don't understand why parents blame their children for their own decision to have them in the first place. We should be blaming them for bringing us into this hell.

My pain is both physical and emotional.
I dull the pain with copious amounts of alcohol.

Right now I have pain in my left hip if I walk or stand too long. My doc thinks it's nerve pain in the T band area & gave me some exercises to do & prescribed Aleve(500mg 2x a day). I think the Aleve may be stopping the pain from radiating down my leg but I still get the pain in my hip. I take Gabapentin for my OCD which is also a low dose(400mg 3x a day) & i don't have any side-effects. My doc mentioned that it could be increased for nerve pain but she wasn't ready to do it then. I should keep taking the Aleve & give the exercises a chance.

I've had lots of periods in emotional pain including crushing & falling in love with someone I cant have cuz she's a celebrity & falling into a psychotic depression after my 1st relationship ended. Thankfully I'm in my 3rd relationship now & things are going pretty good between us.

You are not old. In some Southwest Native American culture you are still considered a child until the age of 51.

My doctor prescribed gabapentin for my pain. I'm on 300mg x3/day. It is helping.

oh...

I'm 45 and I can only speak for myself. I'm old. Old and broken and ready for the next incarnation.