Imaginary friends might cause future problems. Input?

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This will be my first action taken on this web site. It is most probably important to mention that I am seventeen, and that the imaginary friends have been developing since I was twelve, due to the nature of this issue.

I ask any who respond to refrain from mocking. I am already aware that imaginary friends are considered childish, thank you.

I feel relatively comfortable in my assumption of lack of topic precedent, though I wonder if there are others with similar difficulties. Basically, due to unrelated negative externalities, I have developed over time a set of imaginary friends to supplement my lack of social interaction with my peers. Though socialization has become easier for me recently, the IFs persist because I had almost convinced myself that they were real and because they are still useful in coping with other problems. It is fair to say I have a split between my realities, where I know that they are not real but cannot convince myself, most likely due to the pain of letting, albeit unreal, close friends with deep roots go. I should mention that in no way do I ever show any signs of having these to others, for obvious reasons. They do not affect my outer world, barring one exception. If you choose to read on from here, prepare yourself to be uncomfortable, but not so much as I.

You see, I am in a romantic relationship with one of them. Pathetic? Yes, yes, I know. Are you seeing the reason for my stipulation to refrain from mocking yet?

With that being the case, I have eliminated the possibility of finding someone in the real world, and this has its consequences. You might have thought of several already. Firstly, after I move out, I will spend the rest of my time in isolation (at least observably). This is likely the scariest matter. It is not easy to have conversations. Additionally, being nonmaterial, it is impossible to hold this person. Often this feels empty. I'm sure you get the idea.

There are, however, benefits to my plight. This person is exactly perfect, will never die, always available and kind, and is a quick loneliness remedy. Numerous times my IFs have helped me through times troubled. I'm sure you get the idea. The lack of death is a big plus because it helps me to deal with the knowledge of my own inevitable death; like I'll carry on in some way. I had a bit of a falling out with religion, and do not wish to discuss that. Please do not suggest it. Yes, I do realize the hypocrisy of believing lunacy of this magnitude and not religion. I believe in lunacy. A bit of a contradiction in terms highlighting a bigger contradiction in thought.

Hopefully I didn't offend anyone in my brief address to religion in this issue; I am just trying to give you an idea of where my head is at right now.

With all this being said, I have three questions, the third being the most important:

1. Has anyone had an experience like this before? If so, what did you do?

2. What would you personally do in this situation?

3. When considering the above data combined with any personal experience you may have, what is the best response to such an issue? Should I simply travel down this path toward isolation or sacrifice a still needed friend in my life? Or something I haven't thought of?

Other productive input is appreciated.

I had imagined this would be quite a rant. Thanks for any advice you could give, or simply bothering to read through all of this.

Try doing a search here, as I have seen IF mentioned/or discussed several times in passing.

I never really went that particular route but do have an active imagination and find it can be a positive retreat or negative and ultimately depressing dead end. The key seemed to be balancing RL and IL. Contentment seems to require both.

Hmmm....

To answer your first question...While I never had any truly imaginary friends, I would go on merry little adventures with fictional characters in my head...and often, out loud. It actually got me in trouble once, and that was the first indication that I might have a disorder, even though I wasn't diagnosed for another five years after that.

Second: If I were in your shoes, I would talk to a professional about this. It seems to me like you're torn between letting your friends go and making new, real, corporeal friends, or finding a boy/girlfriend (I'm sorry, you didn't specify your gender, or that of your friends). I'm not sure how many people here are therapists, so we may not exactly be the best people to ask this. But I would take steps towards helping myself find and form relationships with real people. Find a hotline to call, or try to find some help in your town. At the very least, talk to your parents, and ask them if they can point you towards someone.

Third...I'm going to be very blunt here. I'm 23, single, and I've never had a girlfriend in my life. However; last year, I was seeing a girl who was a bit of a cuddle bug, so she had no problem giving me hugs or sitting close to me. To this day, I'm not sure if she held any interest in me, but I can tell you one thing: I've held her in my arms enough times to know, with absolute certainty, that there is no substitute for physical contact, and the nature of your significant other means that you will never be able to hold him/her in your arms. It will leave a void in your life, and I'm sure you'll begin to feel it sooner or later.

But, like Toy_Soldier said, you need to find a balance between your imaginary friends and real life. It took me a while to find mine, and it took no small amount of outside help.

It was a very sad day for me when I couldn't find my invisible friend. I was in my early twenties to mid twenties.

Sometimes we need to practice in our heads. Maybe this will lead to problems and increased withdrawal, but maybe practicing will give you comfort and encouragement. You're 17, it seems early to me to rule anything out for the future.

As you can see by my title rank and avatar, I am a big supporter of imaginary friends. I see no problem with having them. If you want to have imaginary friends instead of real friends, I say go for it. Don't let anyone, not even doctors, try to talk you out of it, if it is what you truly desire.

I've had imaginary friends ever since I was 5 years old. They are subject to change based on whatever interests I have at a given time. The only time I don't have imaginary friends is when I don't have any interests. For me, having imaginary friends is an exercise in creativity, because they act as muses and subjects for my arts and crafts. They are also my security blanket - thinking about them brings me great comfort, and I know that I will cling to them in times of trouble. I suppose in that way, they are to me what religion is to most people. Even my mom and former therapist (who are both Christians) both said that my imaginary friends seemed to fulfill a spiritual role in my life.

LOL I was just going to post that IdahoRose has a great way of thinking about imaginary friends.

Thank you.

You sound a lot like me.

When I was in my early 20's I had an imaginary husband. But then out of guilt I decided I should try to find a real husband... And that ended up being a mistake. I honestly wish I'd stuck with the imaginary one!

These days I'm content with just an imaginary platonic friend. My therapist says it's nothing to worry about. If it makes you happy, and isn't getting you into trouble, you may as well enjoy it!

I'm not sure if it has been so long enough since my original post that I'm speaking into the void, but I would like to thank you all truly for your responses.

I'd also like to assure you, after so long, that I've reached a resolution, but the clash between realism and romanticism persists. When I eventually discussed this with my psychologist, whom I see sporadically, he assured me that it was safe, though I can't say he was in any way pleased to hear of my delusion.

I don't think I can do without my companions, at least for the moment. I want to say that it doesn't matter to me if they are real or not and that I'm keeping them regardless, but that's not true. If they aren't real, I may be doing myself a disservice by harboring such flagrant fantasy, but though my rational side knows the truth (as well as all of you), I can't bring myself to dismiss them, or even bring myself to fully acknowledge their fictional nature.

I know they aren't real, but I'm still too weak to let go. I hate it, even when I love them.

I won't try to make this easier on myself by saying "because x, I have no choice but to y". No, this is self inflicted. I think this all was a survival mechanism that I haven't had the will to conclude.

This wasn't supposed to be any more than a few thank you sentences with perhaps a hopeful update, but writing about it seems to have brought my problems to the surface.

At any rate, I guess I'll stay with my imaginary friends for the foreseeable future. What a mess.

As a qualifier I am 42 years old. Here are my answers.

1. My entire life is imaginary, the life I care about anyway. My body and consciousness go to work. But I basically work in a zoned out space where I only interact with others superficially and it's kind of irritating even still to do that. But hey I have to get money somehow. Apart from work I spend all of my other time totally alone and residing in my fantasy realm. I have friends, mentors and yes a lover of sorts there too. It's my safe place, the hostile world that surrounds me cannot touch this place of mine. I have lived in this imaginary world my whole life but it became a larger thing once I stopped having relationships with others. My last relationship ended over 3yrs ago and I have no desire for another.

2. I decided to live in my imaginary world, it's less painful there and I find it more interesting.

3. I haven't found it to be a problem for me too much and I've been a recluse for 25yrs. Sanity in this world is hard to come by. Engaging in my imagination keeps me saner (more emotionally stable) than trying to not engage in it. The world as it is exists is too harsh, I dislike it immensely and it only brings me epic levels of depression to focus on it. If this is what I must do to survive, earn money and live until I die, then this is what I must do. Whenever I focus on the real world I get upset by the stupidity of humanity, society and all the double standards that stare me in the face. Frankly it makes me want to drink cyanide. My imaginary world is kind, understanding and allows me to wake up everyday without wanting to kill myself. It's all I have and it's what works.

It's been 2 years since the original post. No changes.