Stressed about Life Decisions

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The burden of money is using it responsibly. My lease expires in a month. The landlord would probably let me renew but in this house I keep getting robbed. The burglar knows where I live. I could;

1. Try to improve security measures

2. Move into a different place, which is stressful for me, because all the places I can afford are smaller than my current place

3. Move in with parents or grandparents while I save for two years for a downpayment on a house.

The present time could be a very good time to start saving to buy a house. The present time is a terrible time to buy a house. Australia is having a real-estate bubble. The houses are overpriced, yet people keep buying them. However, bubbles burst. Some time from now, the prices could get a lot lower.

Or maybe it won't make a lot of difference.

The other thing that's stressing me is girl trouble. If I don't have my own place it's hard for me to entertain girls. Maybe it's not really so smart for me to chat up these Philippine girls but on OKC it's a choice between pretty young Philippine girls and cranky, entitled, ugly Aussie girls.

Maybe these third world girls just want me to support them financially but so did some of the Aussie girls I dated. At least the Philippine girls aren't so demanding about it. Some Australian girls are very pretty. Those girls don't go on OKC. The corpulent Aussie girls on OKC seem to have severe personality defects. They're very angry, demanding, entitled.

I chatted to many Philippine girls but two stand out. I won't use their real names. The first is not called Michelle. The second is not called Nica. Both have good points and bad points. Michelle looks like a supermodel, Nica is younger. Michelle has perfect looks, save for being flat chested and short. Nica looks more ordinary, though she's taller and bustier. Michelle can't decide if she wants to be sexually progressive or asexual. Nica is not asexual, but has more traditional values (which I respect).

Michelle is more passionate, and more quick to anger. Nica is more calm and collected, but also more naive. Michelle was more mature, more realistic. Nica is still young enough to be an idealist. She thinks she can achieve anything with ease. Michelle is old enough to know better.

Nica wants to stay in Manila until she finishes college. Long wait. Nica believes in a long courtship before marriage. That courtship can't begin until she graduates. Michelle said she's quite happy to marry me at the registry. Short courtship. First I'd have to make her undump me. The way to Michelle's heart is through her parents. Her Philippine mother and Aussie stepdad liked me a lot. They might yet convince her to come back to me.

But would it be worth it very an impulsive, occasionally angry girl who dumped me on a whim? Might she not do it again?

If she comes back soon, I can't be living in my grandparents house, I'd need my own place to provide her with accommodation. Their house is too small, too crowded. I don't want her living with my slightly racist grandparents.

If Nica comes two years from now, that would be ideal. I can live with my annoying grandparents in the meantime and save for the deposit on a house. And then blow all my savings for my wedding (not to mention the exorbitant costs of applying for a marriage visa).

Why are weddings so expensive? Is spending $20,000 on a wedding just an accepted part of adulting? Why is it that responsible adults who tell me I shouldn't spend $12,000 to build a gaming computer think it's OK to spend $20,000 on a wedding?

Why also do they spend $12,000 for intercontinental holidays? All the girls I've met say they want to see the world. I think the world is just fine but if it costs $12,000, I'd rather spend that on the computer. Save travel for tourists.

I used to have a really good gaming desktop. I had a PS4 and a NES and a Vita and a New 3DS XL and a $300 racing wheel and 200 games and 100 blurays and a $3,000 gaming laptop and a deceptively powerful netbook. All stolen. I can afford to buy them all back but that would be irresponsible.

I can never buy those things back because I have to save that money for my future. The rich among us don't spend their money, they invest it. They reinvest the dividends. The rich among us live like paupers for their whole lives. So what good is being rich?

I guess spending money is only for poor people. Rich people never buy anything, it's irresponsible, right?

Nica doesn't want to marry me if she doesn't know me very well. I don't blame her. The requirement of the marriage visa is that we must get married quickly. Nica isn't comfortable marrying someone she just met. I don't blame her.

I suggested as an alternative she could live here on a study visa, giving me plenty of time to court her slowly while she completes culinary school. She said she couldn't allow me to pay her tuition. I said in return she could cook and clean for me. She said that sounds reasonable.

While paying her tuition, I can't save for a house. While renting an apartment, I can't save for a house. I need an apartment if I want any girl to move in with me. Maybe instead of trying to buy a house on my own, it would be better for me to not worry so much about it for now, and only buy a house after I'm in a dual-income couple.

Make that a dual-income-no-kids couple. Michelle wanted kids straight away. Nica wants kids 15 years from now. Guess which one I prefere? Nica is a reasonably attractive, emotionally stable, naive girl. Michelle looks like a supermodel, she's impulsive, emotionally unstable and not naive.

It's difficult for me to resist a girl who looks like a supermodel. Her face is perfect. High cheekbones and a narrow chin. Her 42 kilogram frame is perfectly thin. Yet she's seven years older than Nica so her looks will fade faster.

Next year I'll have a few ten of thousands to of disposable income. I can afford to buy two big things. I could;

A. Buy my stuff back

B. Rent a new apartment

C. Save for the downpayment for a house

D. Rent my current apartment

E. Save for a wedding (and visa)

F. Pay Nica's college fees

G. Date an Aussie girl (if I can find one)

H. Buy this really expensive laptop I saw at the store last week (it was so cool!)

So how should I spend my money responsibly? Choose any two of these things.

These decisions are stressful to me, yet I feel that if I don't start doing these things in some order, life will pass me by. I must act quickly, not wait around. The longer I wait for my future, the shorter it will be. Yet I find trying to plan out my life's path at a moments notice is really stressing me out.

It would be ideal if you could move back with parents/grandparents so you could save for a house--but I don't advise it. You lose your independence that way. It's never good to revert to a previous situation like that. It's like you're back-stepping on your progress in life.

What sort of locks do you have on your door now? I might go with improving security measures in your apartment. Do they have ADT in Australia? Maybe get your expensive stuff insured?

In other words, remaining in your present apartment might not be a bad idea, while you continue to save on a downpayment on a house.

As far as girls: I'd try to get an Aussie girl. Aren't there some people of Philippine extraction already there?

Correct. Two and a half years ago I got kicked out of my house. I lived with Mum for one year. I got extremely depressed. When I moved out I felt a lot better. My depression was not nearly as bad as it was before. It was more like moderate anxiety whereas earlier it was like a dark cloud. Earlier I had no motivation. Afterwards I had the motivation to apply for an internship, beat out the other guys and get a permanent position.

I think backpeddling is bad for me. Also I like being alone for much of the time.There's a security door, which I have sinced started using. One time they manipulated the lock on the window, so I put dowels in the windows, preventing them from sliding open.

In both cases, the crook manipulated the lock, he didn't break it. I've taken measures to prevent both of these occurrences from reoccurring but the burglar uses a different method each time. He may know of some third method.

The last time I had insurance (they still haven't proccessed my claim yet) but the more times I claim on insurance, the more my premiums will go up.I was just thinking that tonight. The apartment I'm in now is larger and cheaper than the ones I looked at. I'm reluctant to give up my 20 foot wide bedroom. The living room and kitchen are also relatively large (but I don't like how the shower doesn't drain properly).

And for $800 per month. All the other apartments cost more than that. Some of them didn't even have connections for my washing machine. My mother gave me a fancy one for Christmas one year ago. It would be a shame to give that up. For most of these other apartments, I would have to put some of my stuff in storage. Anyway, one of my best friends lives two streets away.Understandable but chatting up girls makes me nervous when there isn't a computer screen between us.

Yes there are Philippine girls here, the one at work is very friendly with me but I think she just wants to be friends.

Note, I don't have to be with a Philippine girl. She could be of any ethnic background, even caucasian. I just decided to look into Philippine girls because they're dad is less likely to deride them for not dating a nice Chinese boy like a certain other girl I dated a while ago.