How to accept limitations?

Post Reply New Topic

I am starting a new job tomorrow. I think I am setting myself up for failure. It's at a call centre, where the workers are stuck at desks with little space between them. All on the phone, trying to appease disgruntled clients while discreetly getting them to buy new products. This is a total mismatch for me and I only applied out of desperation.

The thing is I went to see my psychiatrist last week and told him about how I can't work as a cleaner anymore because of my back and that I have gotten this new job. We went over the pros and cons and he told me to consider that finding suitable work will be a challenge for me and that I should accept my limitations. He suggested I consider pursuing my education.

My ODSP comes up for a 5 year medical review this coming March and with a comment like the above it occurs to me that I may not have much trouble re-qualifying. But I just can't seem to get my head around being dependent on social assistance for the rest of my life. I know that many people receive support and that there's nothing wrong with it. But I am left wondering what I'm supposed to be doing. I am working on writing a story, which is something. I just feel this emptiness inside. I live on my own with no prospects for a relationship. And I keep an eye on my aging mother. I'm just feeling a bit lost right now.

Also I think my behaviour is more autistic than it used to be. Just recently on this website I totally missed social cues and caused an upset. And I always have difficulties with co-workers and have left jobs in the past too often because of this. So I guess it's fair to say I'm a social catastrophe.

I feel like going out to the woodlands and sitting under a tree for a very long time.

I have gone through the same feeling before in the past. I have had to accept limitations that I did not like. The main thing I would say is that you are the best at being you. Yes you cannot do what some others can, but you can do things that they can't. I hope this helped.

Yes, it helps, thanks.

I think I need to challenge some illusions I have about myself.

Try the job. It's theoretically possible that you might not hate it as much as you think you will. If you can't take it, quit and be honest at your ODSP review.

You'll know you tried, you'll know you are not on disability for lack of effort... you're there cuz you really truly need it.

For what it's worth I really think you should give it a chance.

Working in a call center isn't for everyone whether you have ASD or not but if you take your time with it at first and don't expect too much from yourself then you might find that you can do it.

It can be hard sometimes but because you are challenging yourself by doing something you never thought you could do then you might find it really rewarding as well.

I do call center work myself and I find that there is a huge array of many types of people who work in call centers.

Honestly androbot01, you have got absolutely nothing to lose from giving it a go.

Best of luck

bb

Yes, I'll try. At least, I'll go through the motions. They told us to expect a lot of role playing and interaction in groups. I've come up with a backup plan though. My psychiatrist mentioned that I should pursue my education and I'm a touch typist, so I think I will keep in mind getting the Medical Transcription Certificate at my local college. I could do transcription part-time.

I will for sure keep my doctors and social worker in the loop.



I will. You're right. I think I will be okay with the customers, but the workplace environment scares me. So many people, so many sounds. But I have gotten used to such in the past. How do you find it working in a call centre? Do you do inbound or outbound calls? I can't imagine ever doing outbound calls. Some people get really ticked off when you call to sell them something. I'll be doing soft selling, so the customer calls in regarding the bill or service and we point out to them what else is available. I don't know if there are any bonuses in place, but they have an elaborate point system regarding absences.

I do outbound calling "cold calling".

The thing you'll find at first is that you might be a little bit overwhelmed because of all the noise and it will seem busy and they'll be a lot of different personalities as well.

When I first worked in that environment I really did feel like a fish out of water because I am quite a solitary introverted person but after a while I became to enjoy it.

I've never done inbound but I would expect that the customer would be a bit less hostile than if you was calling them.

The thing with call centers is that there is usually a high turn over of staff so you wont be new for long, so always ask for support if you are struggling and take notice of what ever training is given to you. If you ask for help and support they will know that you are keen.

Just give it a fair crack of the whip for a few weeks and then if it's really not for you then look elsewhere.

It didn't work out.

I am so tired of trying to fit into this bizarre world. Started working on an autobiography. Maybe I can sell my life story.

The environment was cloying.
"We're like family" they say. Just too bizarre for me. No nooks. Forced interaction. Not sure where I fit in now.

I'm self employed. Working is a call center would be impossible for me. Just being in an open plan office is bad enough. never again.

You have my sympathies.

Although you should be prepared to accept limitation, you should exhaust way in which you could adapt. In fact in my experience they kind of hand in hand.

I know, but I've been adapting for my whole life and I haven't been successful. I've survived, but I haven't found a niche. I won't stop trying though.

I think I got out of the call centre in a nick of time. I am still recovering from the experience.

A few years ago I put my name on the housing list. I will have to go to community services and see if I'm still on it and if so update my contact information. I really hope I'm still on it. It's a five to eight year waiting list.

Your life sounds a lot like mine, I hope I'll be able to express myself clearly.

I am not a good match with society. By that I mean that with ASD I am in the minority, don't match, don't fit in. People call this "limitations," which is incorrect. Human beings are unique. "Unique," "different," and "limited" are used interchangeably, which is wrong and unfair.

Into each life some business must fall, so that we can gain enough money to pay our own way in this capitalist society. Since I don't match, I get fired a lot. It was pure unmitigated hell. But I did manage to support myself on and off for 30 years and now I'm peacefully retired on a standard government pension.

Please do not accept negative descriptions of your situation. You say:

"I've been adapting for my whole life and I haven't been successful.
I've survived, but I haven't found a niche. I won't stop trying though."

That describes me too. But accept that there's nothing wrong with you. You don't fit into pigeon-holes, that's all.

The thing that worked best for me was seasonal work - if you're a touch typist (which includes data entry?) you can thrive on this through agencies. I worked 2 weeks out of every month and it was a wonderful fit for a couple of years. It can be unsettling to have a different place to work every Monday, so eventually I took a permanent job. Another thing you could do is take seasonal work with a company that does tax returns. I don't know if you'd like to try seasonal work. I should have stayed with it longer.

You seem discouraged at qualifying for ODSP - I'm not sure what that means. When I couldn't go on any longer, I thought I had failed. Please respect the determination and talent that have got you this far. If there comes a time when society will let you stand down from these efforts, accept it as your due. You have probably tried harder than most.

I am discouraged by being on ODSP. I appreciate it, for sure. Without their support I would be on the street and possibly dead. But I am frustrated with myself for my lack of functioning. That's what I mean about accepting limitations. I need to accept myself and stop trying to be something I can't be.
I can't do temp work as an environment that changes so often would confuse me. But I have applied to do online transcription. And if I take a medical transcription course there are lots of opportunities.
I feel like I am trying to run in water. I think my depression is kicking in. I'm weepy and these horrible images and thoughts keep popping into my head. I chase them off, but their appearance indicates an impending meltdown.

Good Lord, I failed the online transcription test.

Apparently I am on a run of failure:

Since December I have:

1) Been diagnosed with severe degenerative disc disease and had to leave my job as a cleaner which I was otherwise successful at.
2) Had to euthanize my dog (who I am still dreaming about) because he was too aggressive for me to handle with my back and because I couldn't provide the proper environment for him.
3) Been a complete ass on WrongPlanet and upset someone who I care about.
4) Tried another job, which I failed at.
5) And now I've failed the online transcription test.

I have been in contact with social housing to update my address, but have still got a couple of years to wait. I have realized that I can no longer afford my apartment, as I am not employable. So in the meantime, I have found a room in an artist commune sort of environment, behind a shop. It's really cheap. I'm going to see it next week and am hoping to move in in March. I've never lived in shared accommodations before, but I am figuring I better get used to it.

My new plan: To die as soon as possible. I have to stick around until my mother passes to take care of her, she's 74. In the meantime, I know a guy who can get me a gun. I am going to buy it from him even though I don't know when I'll need it. I may not get the opportunity again. So basically I plan to kill time with drugs and alcohol until my mother dies, then I'll shoot myself.

Okay, I am just talking to the trees in the forest now.

I have made contact with my friend regarding the gun and I think it's a go, although it may take time. That's cool. I've waited this long.

I wonder if I should just go ahead and do it and leave my mother to her own devices. Maybe my cousins would take care of her. They have money. But the truth is that old age with no relatives sucks.

I just wonder how much of an obligation I have to my mother. She tells of my birth as torture. Thirty-six hours. A horrible experience for her. I wonder if it was horrible because I should never have been born. Maybe the Gods were saying not to bother.

Alright, that was a little dark. Sorry.

I am for sure depressed. I recognize the signs. Random crying, obsession with dark images and thoughts, suicide plan ... I will make an appointment with my psychiatrist. I'm sure a higher dosage of my medications will keep the marionette strings working.

I feel like I am treading water ... except that it's not water, it's some kind of evil primordial ooze.

Wow, god I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you.

At least you are aware that you are having negative thoughts and you know what to do about it.