How can I get over competence anxiety?

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I have serious anxiety about how competent I am or appear to people. I don't mind trimming my own bangs, but trimming my own bangs makes me extremely anxious about trips to hairdressers. I'm scared they're all secretly judging my bangs and I interpret every little comment as if they're criticizing my diy haircut.

I also have the same anxiety about my glasses. I ordered them online because they have more variety and they're cheaper. I ordered them from a trust worthy site and my vision is pretty good with them.

They occasionally feel "weird", but that's to be expected with my weird prescription. Non-online glasses feel weird as well.

I still feel super anxious when I want to get them adjusted or I'm going to get my eyes tested. What helped me feel less anxious was my new optometrist saying my glasses prescription is pretty close to the one he got.

This is also affecting my life skills. I don't feel "competent" enough to cook or light candles even though I most likely can. I think a lot of this anxiety is caused by pretentious people on Reddit.

It's a bit of a paradox, but one thing that can relieve the anxiety of how the appear to other people is knowing about the spotlight effect - "the phenomenon in which people tend to believe they are noticed more than they really are" (definition by Wikipedia). People are usually too concerned about themselves and their own problems to be thinking about your competence the whole time.

Being aware of the effect is easier said than done, but once you start thinking about it, it might relieve some of the pressure you might feel when surrounded by people who you think are constantly judging you. Chances are they're probably not.