I just want somebody to listen and understand

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hello everyone,
im a 15 yr old female with un-diagnosed aspergers and adhd.
On january 6th a horrific car crash killed two teenage girls of 17 and 13, i didn't know these girls but i knew the driver a little bit.
Since this crash ive changed my whole outlook on life and other people.
I find it extremely difficult to explain what i may be feeling inside so i hide it, fortunatly for me my mum knows of my difficulty with expression and knows when somethings on my mind(what mums dont lol)
i feel so incredibly down and ive changed so much since this accident, i feel down 24/7 and it just wont go away, its getting to the point now where i have thought about suicide.
my mum took me doctors today and he said that he was reluctant to treat a 15 yr old for deppression, so yet again i have been passed on to another person.
he told my mum to get in touch with this youth place and he said they would be able to help me better than him, i dont mind but im just sick of waiting for appointments, and anyone on here living in the UK will agree how long you can be waiting to be seen on the NHS.
I just want someone to understand my mind and tell me im not crazy, just different, but for som reason it seems to me that nobody actually knows how to treat teenage depression, because im just being passed on to different peaople and its really annoying.
when im older im gonna put a stop to this and make people relise when parents say their child is contemplating death, they need treating straight away-no ifs-no buts.
has anybody else experienced anything like this??

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Different is cool-Luke Jackson, teen with aspergers.
Having aspergers is like a more extreme version of life, and i love it

I was depressed when I was 13/14 but I didn't go to the doctors or anything so I have no idea what he would have said or done. It does take ages to get appointments sometimes though, I had to wait several months for mine. I hope everything gets sorted out for you though

Hello, yah it's scary when someone about your age dies, I went to a service for a girl who died of aids, it was my brothers girlfriends sister, I had never met her, but seeing her like that dead, and about my age and dead... a half hour later I broke out in tears, someone once said, childhoods over when you know your gonna die. I'm 29 and I just realised that I have Aspie's Syndrome, before I figured I was just different.

I first remember being severely depressed when i was 11. My mum knew about it but just made a joke of it and told me to stop being miserable. I tried an overdose but didn`t take enough and was just unconcious for a couple of days (which was also ignored), I also started cutting myself and taking unnecessary risks with high places.
I didn`t get any medical help until I was in my mid 20s (and it was only 2 weeks worth of SSRIs!)
I had a breakdown a few years ago and was given a series of different antidepressants non of which worked and gave me side effects (you then start being treated for side effects). I also saw counsellors but because I can`t relate to another person then counselling doesn`t work apparently. However it was my counsellor who first suggested AS.
The most helpful thing was the psychiatrist i saw. He said I wasn`t clinically ill at all, that it was wrong to label people and that my depression was a natural reaction to having a really cr*p life. He was the first person to ever treat me like a valued equal and told me suicide was just a desire for change and there are bettter ways to change your life.

I really think that `talking`is better than drugs and hope you don`t get medicated as an easy solution but you need to find the right counselling - this may not be easy with AS. Don`t be afraid to say if a counsellor is not helping or you don`t like them and you want to switch to another.

I really wish you all the best and can relate somewhat to your situation.

It does sound like you are battling depression. I don't think a lot of professionals know what they are talking about. Deppression can happen at any age. My mom is an early childhood educator, and she says that infants can have depressive symptoms. And aspies can start battleing depression as young as five. It is important for you to know that what you are feeling is a typical reaction to a traumatic event such as what those people went through. What you are just have trouble dealing with the feelings you are having. I recommend that you keep looking for a Qualified! professional to talk to. if you feel like the pro doesn't make you feel right get another one.
I hope you get through it. I do send my well wishes.

I'm not sure its real clinical depression if it starts after someone's death that you barely new. I think you are deep in contemplation on the meaning of life, spirituality, etc. That's a natural phase of development. I do however remember being very depressed from probably about 8 yrs old wanting to kill myself because of all the rejection and being different.

You are right its not good to have to wait for an appointment. Unfortunately that's how the health care system is because there are too many needy people and too few medical providers. I've read how bad that situation is in the UK, but even here in the States where we have private insurance its the same way. I was told I had to wait 3 months to see a psych so I finally said just forget it. Are there school counselors you could talk to? Or anyone at a church?

If you need someone to talk to about life you are welcome to PM if you like. I don't know if I can help, but sometimes I think it just helps to talk and get things out in the open.

Ironically, a lot of people here in the States want some kind of national health system like you have over there. Waiting lists and substandard service result whenever you let the government take over health care. If your system is not profit-driven then it is simply not driven.

I don't get depressed that much, but when I do it's not good...

Sometimes I feel depressed, and I'm a little depressed right now. But I've never taken antidepressants or gone with psychologists or psychiatrists.

You aren't crazy at all .. but then who am i? .. all i know is i'm pretty much the same way .. even if i don't know the people .. i feel soooo deeply the pain.. especially of those left behind. it is very sad. i think as one poster said you are just one of us who think deeply and feel incredibly for others. i too lost a friend when i was young .. i saw the accident .. it was awful. i remember that surreal feeling at the funeral .. how they'd made her look pretty .. when she was more like me.. homely ... they made her look 'better' dead!! ! it freaked me out. i wore that weight for a long time.. all the while being told to snap out of it .. i was "too sensitive" ..
anyway .. ALL i ever really needed was for someone to 'hear' me .. and to understand and maybe more than that .. just accept that that was how i felt and it was ok .. i don't think a lot of people get that.. but i do think more people in WP get it than elsewhere ..
so .. i dont know if that is any solace for you .. i hope it helps some .. just to know that there isn't anything wrong with you at all .. you may be more sensitive than the average person .. you are likely also more intelligent (aren't most of us?! lol) .. i've tried to turn some of it around .. i'm not too sensitive .. neither are you .. its just that most people aren't sensitive enough.
sorry to hear about that loss.. v sad.

i believe pills, meds etc are just covers for the stuff in me that makes someone else uncomfortable - so They should take the frikkin pills ! Compassion is a lot healthier. ((easy for me to say .. on a good day!))