My Mother (Longish)

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I dunno. I'm not really much of a "New Topic" kinda guy, but I just wanted to see if anyone had any similar experiences to this.

I suggested to my mother a couple of weeks ago, based on what little information I had, that I may have Asperger's Syndrome. She encouraged me to look it up even though she didn't really see it herself. So, I've been reading about it for a couple weeks now.

Anyway, I had a therapist appointment today to discuss school, work, and driving related anxiety. Afterward, I told my mom that I didn't bring up the topic of Asperger's because I didn't know how. It seems to me that whenever I suggest something to any form of professional, especially doctors, they give me a weird look, as if to say "I'm the doctor here. Shut up." I mean, yeah, they've got degrees and all, but just because I don't doesn't automatically mean I'm wrong. But yeah, the Asperger's thing. My mother says she doesn't think I have it based on what she's read and what she's heard from her friend who dates a girl with Asperger's.

The conversation went something like:

She's like "Joe's girlfriend has it and the way he describes her sounds nothing like you."
And I'm like "How does he describe her?"
And she says "She's anti-social and has no interest in meeting people."
Then I said that not all people with Asperger's are anti-social, they just have difficulty in social situations.
Then she said "Yeah, but she doesn't want anything to do with anyone."
Then I told her that there are plenty of people with Asperger's who want to meet people, they're just bad at it.
Then she got mad at me.

Studying up on something that she told me to read about in the first place doesn't give her a reason to get upset with me. All I did was correct some of her misconceptions. I haven't done anything wrong, right?

And speaking of doing things wrong, I had my facts straight, right?

Anyway, she seems to have a pretty skewed understanding of what Asperger's is. I don't claim to comprehend it perfectly myself, but I feel I've got a better grasp of it than she does. She seems to think that all people with Asperger's are compulsively neat and orderly, that they're all anti-social, and that they all have a savant-like talent. And these are just a few of her preconceived notions. The savant one's my favorite though. As soon as her friend told my mom about his girlfriend having Asperger's, she immediately asked what her special talent was.

Sometimes I wonder if my friend Travis is right about my mom being just plain stupid. Then I end up feeling really bad. Like, really, really bad.

Anyway, I'm not really sure where it was that I was going with this, but I'm just happy to get it off my chest. Tell me what you think, she stories, etc.

And topic....

Launch!

My mom didn't think I had it at first. I didn't even think I really had it at first. But knowledge really is power...I spent hours every day looking it up (not medical definitions, but surfing the WP and other boards) only to find it was ME. Once I knew 100% that I had AS, it made it easier to deal with the doubts of people who think of Asperger's as Autism/Savant-ism. Even when I went to the psychologist (I also have a psychiatrist I visit but haven't been able to speak to him yet) and mentioned it, he rejected the idea entirely without even discussing it, saying that it was a "popular/fad diagnosis". (I have to note however that he concluded the session by re-diagnosing me with OCD, Depression, and Avoidant Personality...I doubt he saw the irony). And when my mum finally started looking things up (unbeknownst to me) and realized that it was, and always had been, me, that was just icing on the cake.

I ranted about this somewhere else, possibly multiple times...but....

Most disorders are not a simply binary thing. It isn't a case of you have it, or you don't. It also doesn't mean that if you are diagnosed with something that you will have all the same symptoms as anyone else with the same diagnosis. Unfortunately this is the general level of understanding of a lot of the general public.

That, and many people see some news special on a disorder and think they're suddenly experts. Same can be said about any educational programming. This can get especially funny if the person's memory isn't the best, and the news programs start to run together in their memory. Some strange combinations come out of that. Thanks, grandma, for the wonderful information. Then again, she also absolutely loves Dr. Phil.

As for bringing it up with a doctor, how to do that, I'm not sure. Some people with a higher level degree can get defensive, and even downright childish, if someone without all of their training catches something they miss. Not all though, so it is worth a shot.