Hospitalized again .

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I am in the hospital again . I officially have pneumoe nia again , plus more-more-more of the same problems I'd written about recently(frown) . The last several days I was too exhausted to use my tablet very much , and too crippled (sob) , to make it down the hill to get to the library's sturdier machines in time .

It's better than having to take 4 hours to go down the hill.

I hope you get the rest you need, resolve the pneumonia, and have your feet heal a little.

...Aside from the poisonous atmosphere the haters percentage of the shelter-ites provided , I believe the physical atmosphere of the shelter - Old paints ? Pesticides ? - was dragging me down .

i know being in the hospital is hard but ive always liked it, i was in the hospital for 2 weeks after severe burns when i was 2, i liked it, aside from the pain i got to watch my favourite movie all day, as many times as i wanted, ALL my family came to see me and treated me very nicely and there was a nice, strict schedual. Call me Munchousin but i LOVE the hospital. Sometimes if i get a infection i kinda secretly hope itll get worse enough ill spend a night in the hospital again.. cant say i like being sick too much though... and ive been getting sick a lot lately

Although it wasn't very fun when i was put in for suicidal episode, i got really homesick and i was isolated from my family and all i had to read was archie comics.

Feel better soon! i hope you recover, Pneumonia can be nasty. I had Bronchitis a month ago and it was scary, sometimes id just stop breathing out of the blue, not fun.

...Once again , I am receiving treatment , which , as with the three or so times I have done this in the last months , will , no doubt , improve me some , then , say , especially if it's back to the shelter , will wear off as it did before . The foot wound may get better , but not fully heal before I'm out .
What I guess is really serious stuff , like my kidneys will be held at bay for now .
I sort of think medicos don't take my complaints about the hours-long walks seriously , they don't see it...Or they say " Would you like a walker " ?
If I could just rest somewhere and get better...

...I w as just told by a doctor here that my kidneys' functioning/renal failure has gotten worse , just now , meaning these days here in the hospital:( ...What , end up on dialysis ?.....................

Praying for you ...

...I have too few clothes . When I left for here , I had two pairs of jeans , and a pair of shorts basically only suitable for wearing while washing them .
I had been planning to do so on the day I came here . The ones I was wearing that day had a leakage problem stain them , the hospital told me that they'd put them aside , I should take them or throw them away when I am discharged , " we don't do that " (clean people's clothes) , I guess I'll lose even more . Let's really make people love me my telling them about my unpleasant nasty personal regards ls , eh ? -sob-
I have a few too many overly thin and too expensive what-I-could-get under- and T-shirts .

...When I left for here , I knew I'd throw out some non-clothes stuff , but there still some stuff I took that got lost , but , really , of what I have now , I suppose I have to throw some stuff out , I really had , already , tried to live too much as if I at least a barrack/prep-school home , I wasn't even , in a sense , that much of a " normal human being " . I'll admit , too , sometimes internally romanticizing some concepts of homelessness , busking on the streets , sleeping cozily in a corner like some little elf -
" cherub " , you know who !

...So if I am discharged from this hospital - Could I even take it up at the shelter again , assuming being dropped off there again ?
Even getting help now , can I really set up somehow the May 2016 CCSF - Including , frankly , " even if set up , would I be physically be up to it " ? Doctors here at the hospital today , in talking about the foot wound , seemed to me - sort of - to be displaying a " perpetual maintenance " idea toward the wounded foot not cure , even if I'm sorta projecting/resentful and even I am saying " unconsciously/by omission " ...I really did heal on the other foot...

...A doctor brought up the concept that I could have a lifespan of less than a year , with the kidneys and too wounds and I think he said the heart (Possibly also factoring in the kidney diabetes , beyond regular diet abetes , that has been mentioned to me .) .
So . dead at 56 ? I'm pretty much an unwanted , unloved ,, bum anyway . I mean , maybe I'm trolling , ha ha , for pity/sympathy there , as I tend to - not very successfully !
Now , the doctor was likely expounding a worse possible/pessimistic scenario ? He was nice about the idea of a not pain-oriented treatment , not having to be dialysis - When. I was in jail in 2013 I thought how I wanted to have a nice hair/beard styling and colorv- Years later and now maybe I never will , just like many other things .
There , there's attempted self-pity .
I've thought that , if I died , I'd let my body be -' taken away, I guess , I don't want the burial site with my parents I can have -"Then again zvI do nostalgize about being fifteen or sixteen or thereabouts - I have no way to have my body "'cremated and scattered at Ocean Beach " or whatnot .
I do wish I had some extra funds , so that some stuff could be got .
The hospital , though they didn't tell me up front , seems to be resenting I wheedled an extra ov3rnight of rest and preparation here after , post-1:30 in the afternoon yesterday , they brought up the idea of me leaving that afternoon , and , something led at 9:30 PM or so with an Almighty God Complex doctor and him threatening to call security and throw me out then .
Considering my solo walking ability , I don't know how much I can " go to any appointments " anyway and , if I for-lack of anywhere else , stay ajt the shelter again , also , the bizarre sleeping pattern may just start out all over again .
More f*****g Cajptcha extra woids !

...Hasn'tt anyone read this recent-er part ? I MIGHT DIE!! !! !! !! !! ! I could certainly use some help , some rest & recovery...

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

You'll need to be more specific about the "help" you're asking for. Your post almost sounds like you want someone to take you in. I may be mistaken, but that's how it reads to me.

...Well , yeah ,staying somewhere temporarily while my kidneys got back in order , etc. , would-be helpful , I get Medical/Care/Arid , so that could cover that , and I get a little money , though not much .
Likewise , being able to get to walk correctly-sob- again would be nice , basically , some rest in between tween treatment could help that-sob- ..


="Omniel"]You'll need to be more specific about the "help" you're asking for. Your post almost sounds like you want someone to take you in. I may be mistaken, but that's how it reads to me.[/quote]

...The last couple days I just hung around the shelter and went. Only a few blocks and ayte way too I CH do d - I should replace my. Clothes , which. Once again got a brown away , but walking downhill and coming back up again - Saturday it took about an hour-and-a-half to get one and three/quarter b!ocks ...I just can't seem to be sick in front of the right people?. .

Just so you know your response isn't ignored, I did post a reply but deleted it because I felt it would be upsetting to you.

In a nutshell, I would advise taking whatever housing assistance you can get wherever it is (I'm not sure why you're homeless, I tried reading old messages of yours but didn't have time to go back past December 2015), cleaning up your diet (meaning no splurging on junk food and soda) and being seen regularly at a doctor. If you don't do all of the above now, your health will continue to deteriorate.

Not what you want to hear, I'm sure.