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babybird
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21 Mar 2016, 11:53 am

I feel so sad.

Recently discovered my daughter has been self harming.

I hear her crying in the night after I've gone to bed.

I feel so helpless.

Took her to the hospital today to get some help but everything seems to move at the pace of a snail.

She's so isolated and she shuts down, wont talk.

I'm afraid to go to work for fear of what I might come home to.

I wish I could take the pain away from her.

She's such a beautiful girl.

Just wish I could make her see that.

I hate seeing her in so much pain and turmoil.


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androbot01
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21 Mar 2016, 11:56 am

They won't do anything at the hospital. If you can maybe follow up with her family doctor and get her in to see a psychiatrist, maybe? When I self-harm it's because of depression. Unmedicated I still self-harm.
Not a fun road. Sorry you are going through this with your daughter.



babybird
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21 Mar 2016, 2:48 pm

I promised her that we'll get through it together.

It's not gonna get better over night.

I bought us a chippy tea tonight and that seemed to cheer her up a bit and at least I know she's eaten something as well because she's lost interest in eating lately too.

We're watching telly together now and she's talking to me and making jokes.

She hardly uttered a single word yesterday.

So that's something.

But I just have to deal with each day as it comes until we can get something sorted.


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Methodchess
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21 Mar 2016, 6:55 pm

I think it's important that you make sure she knows how important she is to you. I remember when I was actively considering suicide my dad told me this and it made me feel better. I also agreed I would speak to him before I tried again. Having this fail safe in place is very worthwhile if she agrees to it. This way you will always get the opportunity to convince her not to go through with it.



babybird
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22 Mar 2016, 8:02 am

Thank you. That is sound advice and I shall use it.


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kraftiekortie
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22 Mar 2016, 8:28 am

I think your daughter will be quite okay under your wise guidance.



CockneyRebel
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22 Mar 2016, 8:39 am

Sweet Pea hugs Image

Image


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babybird
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22 Mar 2016, 9:27 am

Thank you all above. That is very kind of you.

I've taken two days off work so that I can just be there with her.

I've cried so many tears in private that I feel I don't really want to cry any more as I can't see how crying can help.

Tomorrow I will go back to work and try to carry on as normal with a normal daily routine.

We will get through this even though I know there is no magic cure.

It all started about 4 weeks ago just out of the blue. I came home from work and she was like a complete different person. I thought it was something I had done and I now feel selfish for believing that. because now I have fallen on the understanding that this is something that has happened to her and there is nothing that I could have done to prevent it.

She is suffering and it's my job to help her feel cared for and loved in the best way I know how.


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Britte
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22 Mar 2016, 9:39 am

Love to you and your daughter, babybird.



androbot01
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22 Mar 2016, 9:50 am

babybird wrote:
It all started about 4 weeks ago just out of the blue. I came home from work and she was like a complete different person. I thought it was something I had done and I now feel selfish for believing that. because now I have fallen on the understanding that this is something that has happened to her and there is nothing that I could have done to prevent it.

Could be some hormonal change. That would make sense to me because when I have cut it has been out of frustration with myself. Like being stuck in a faulty avatar and trying to get out of it. She could be frustrated with the change in her mood.
Good thing she has you on her side. She may feel that she can't have the words to describe what she is feeling and might feel isolated because of this. Spending time with her to support her is awesome because it shows she is important to you.



babybird
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22 Mar 2016, 9:55 am

Britte wrote:
Love to you and your daughter, babybird.


Thank you Britte. That means a lot.


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babybird
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22 Mar 2016, 10:01 am

androbot01 wrote:
Could be some hormonal change. That would make sense to me because when I have cut it has been out of frustration with myself. Like being stuck in a faulty avatar and trying to get out of it. She could be frustrated with the change in her mood.
She may feel that she can't have the words to describe what she is feeling and might feel isolated because of this.


Thank you. That sounds very much like what could be going on.

She is extremely frustrated with herself and she finds it so hard to put words to what she is feeling.

I expect that I will have to be patent with her and accept that things have changed with the way I deal with things.

She has come so far in this last few years.

It's just such a shame that things have took a turn for the worst again.


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androbot01
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22 Mar 2016, 10:22 am

babybird wrote:
...She is extremely frustrated with herself and she finds it so hard to put words to what she is feeling.

She may not even be able to at this point. That's okay.
She'll probably feel really crappy about the scars. I wouldn't make a big deal of that. She can deal with it later.
Let her know that when she is feeling this frustration that it's okay for her to let you know, even if she can't go into detail. Often breaking up the destructive thought pattern with a new direction will allow the feelings to pass without her acting on them. Easier said than done though. Self hatred can be all consuming.

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It's just such a shame that things have took a turn for the worst again.
How old is your daughter? Is she autistic?



babybird
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22 Mar 2016, 10:33 am

She'll be 24 next week.

She hasn't been diagnosed but we have been talking about it lately and when we went to the hospital yesterday the psychiatric nurse has put a fax to our GP recommending that she goes for screening.


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androbot01
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22 Mar 2016, 10:51 am

babybird wrote:
She'll be 24 next week.

She hasn't been diagnosed but we have been talking about it lately and when we went to the hospital yesterday the psychiatric nurse has put a fax to our GP recommending that she goes for screening.

Oh that's good. If they can identify her she will likely get more support.

For me cutting has been a lifelong problem. I'm 45 and I last cut my arm last week. It is not the problem it once was though and I try to just accept that if I start cutting then it is a sign that I have to re-evaluate things. It is a show of stress. When I alter the things that are causing me anxiety, I am not so frustrated with myself. Also, I have to take my medication, but that's me.



babybird
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22 Mar 2016, 11:08 am

Have you had any kind of help for yourself to understand why you cut?


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