Why is life without so much turmoil too much to ask.

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Uhh just at a bit of a loss, I mean I am sure I can come to a conclusion but still, it's difficult. Yes it has to do with me and my boyfriend trying to figure out a plan of getting a place. His job keeps screwing around trying to change his hours and crap, as is he typically is working like 48 hours a week and still can barely afford rent at his current apartment, where he has to move out by the first of May because of a**hole room-mate who either just don't like me or somehow had a problem with the idea of him having a girlfriend. And it's B.S, I don't think he needs to be working more, in fact I am pissed he has to work as much as he does for insufficient wages because I can tell it's draining and crappy.

But yeah anyways plan is he'll try and stay at my brothers in May, then we were hoping to find an apartment semi close to said B.S job(though this was before they keep randomly messing with his hours and what shift he works). But job keeps screwing around, he's worried about us not being able to save up enough to realistically get a place together and live here. So another option is go back to his state, Missouri....which I've heard people refer to as misery, for a time since he was looking up rent and such might be a cheaper, so we could save up more.

I mean if it comes to that I will go with him...already made that choice, however I don't like to think of missing my family/friends. Then again sometimes I can't help feeling maybe I should go away for a while, before I get to be too much and piss people off.

I mean like today my brother told me our cousin who came to visit mentioned it seeming I needed alcohol to enjoy hanging out, kind of upset me because if anything this cousin has been the one talking about drinking and wanting to drink with us. Yesterday we went and barbecued, everyone but me took a hit of his flask of whiskey(I didn't want to because my period had started and my cramps were hurting in such a way I didn't think that would help) then when we got home and there was beer I proceeded to drink water until I went home...then today I didn't have any alcohol till evening and only a couple beers and a shot. Then because I got a bit irritable because I am stressed about maybe having to move out of state with my boyfriend and mentioned just wanting to grab a bus home and let them hang out downtown, as well as not feeling the greatest without having to worry about me or deal with me being grumpy that meant I was 'too' drunk. Whole thing was I didn't want to get very drunk and more wanted to head home if they were hanging out at bars as I just wasn't feeling it really but I guess frusteration=drunk. Point is maybe if I am gone, when I come back they won't just assume any displeasure I express isn't meant to be taken seriously or is some product of drunkness or whatever else they think I do.

Uhh just a little bit of venting...I love my brother so I'm not trying to be a jerk but sometimes I just don't think he considers sometimes I am being serious/should be taken seriously. Also love my boyfriend and can't just break it off because things might not immeaditly work out here around Denver, Colorado on account of my brother or anyone else maybe missing me.

It sounds like your boyfriend works retail or fast food. Of course, I could be wrong.

No disgrace--but the wages suck. And the employers treat the workers like s**t. Par for the course in retail or fast food.

Maybe he should train to be an x-ray technician or something in the medical field.

He'll be treated with more respect. He'll get more hours--but he'd get consistent hours.

Or maybe try Costco? Costco pay well, and has a corporate culture which emphasizes respect more than most.

Nope, he's working at a place that manufactures those massive windows you see on large city buildings and sky-scrapers. Not exactly sure what his exact job responsibilities are but it certainly involves working with gigantic chunks of glass. Then they keep trying to give him random weeks of 12 hour shifts, which sounds pretty irresponsible of the management since that long of days can make someone less alert which doesn't sound very safe for a job like that. Full time labor work with a bit more danger than fast food or retail, yet they can't pay him enough to live around Denver.

Before that he was doing plating for like circuit boards and such for large computerized things or whatever like stuff nasa or the military uses....that involved working with dangerous chemicals and the pay wasn't very great there either. However he got fired from that job because this guy tried antagonizing him when he confronted him about leaving early and not doing his share during his shift. Guy went and told management or whatever that my boyfriend was being threatening just because he rather irritably confronted the guy.

As for corporate culture, in his experience that makes things worse...he said the plating place was better before it became more corporate, and after they started treating workers more and more expendable.

Does he get time-and-a-half for all hours over 40 for the week?

Or does he work four days a week?

Sounds like a dangerous, yet a higher-paying job than retail/fast food.

Would SSI pay you less if he lives with you?

Don't think he gets the time and a half for over 40 hours, he did say there is no over-time, and no its 5 days a week except on a couple of occasions he got most of Friday off because they didn't have enough work. Seems like kind of disorganized maybe even kind of shady management and he's already getting kind of sick of it. But if he were to quit or get fired then we'd pretty much have to go to missouri to stay with his parents to save up since then he wouldn't even be able to help my brother with a little with rent or utilities to stay there in May unless a job with the same or better wages dropped in his lap.

Also not sure if us living together would effect my SSI or not, haven't quite looked into that yet or how it might effect it. But I am sort of hoping to be able to try and transition to a bit of part time work while staying on the SSI maybe this summer though still kind of depends on a mental health check up I have next month and if they think I could handle it without a stress induced episode of complete dis-functionality.

I did apply for I guess a section 8 voucher last year but that could come any day or could take as long as until this November....but not sure what the rules are concerning if he could move in with me or if that would be an issue.

I am just angry that he has to work his a** off to make barely enough to cover basic costs like rent, at least around here that is.

Yep....it sounds like a shady operation. And I can understand his reluctance to quit.

By law, unless you're in management, an employee HAS to get time-and-a-half for working over 40 hours.

I hope he doesn't also get a 1099 instead of a W-2! That would make him an "independent contractor," with less rights than most employees.

I would wait for the voucher to kick in before you make a move in the apartment front.

But I think, if all systems are go for a part-time job, that it will be good for you to pursue that, while still getting the SSI.

I do believe you might get less money from SSI should you live with another person.

Hon, you're having your period. A week from now you won't be as stressed. When feeling this way, look around for factors that might explain your irritation level before making major decisions based on a temporary frazzle.

Instead of moving to Missouri, your boyfriend should look for a better local job while he is still employed. It's easier to find another job if you already have one. And while it's hard and tiring to job-hunt while working full-time, this is still what he should do.

It's expensive to move, there's no guarantee he'll find employment quickly in MO, so he should hang on to the job he has and get a better one.

I hope you feel a bit better by the time you read this.

Yeah I think it depends...like if we lived together but I was still paying 300 for rent and still responsible for my groceries it shouldn't change much at all. But if we lived together and I started paying less rent and he became responsible for groceries for instance then that would lower the amount. Basically I think its if I end up having more financial 'resources' due to living with him it would effect it otherwise it shouldn't.

I still get the full amount living with my mom, and pretty sure my boyfriend has even less money/resources than she does so probably wouldn't change much, but I will still update my info to the SSI office whenever we do get a place.

Also though the thing is he doesn't have a place to stay till November, so if the voucher takes that long it wont help...doubt he's going to want to stay on my brothers couch all the way till November also don't think the landlord would allow that long-term. So basically if the voucher comes this month, may or at the latest june it may be an option but otherwise we'll have to figure something else out.

I think he does still get the W-9, though rather than the independent contractor thing.

Yes that I am, a lot of times I don't really get the irritability or whatever just cramps,but this time around I didn't get so much cramps but more moody, didn't even think to consider that, I was more concerned with feeling inconvenienced by having to use feminine products for it.

But yeah, its possible he could try and find another job here whilst still working, but the trouble is finding something that would pay the same or more before the end of May he has looked at some other places though. Though it is maybe possible if we looked outside the Denver area but still in Colorado we could find some lower rent then like 1,000 + utilities for one bedroom.

But yeah if we did the missouri thing the idea would be to stay with his parents till he gets a job(he'd keep some saved up for a place) and then look for a place, he just saw that rent might be pretty cheap and doesn't think it would be hard to get a job that would cover it so it's just one idea...not a concrete plan or anything. I do feel somewhat better now, I guess it's just a lot to think about.

So his place is good till the end of May, then what you want to do is look for a sublet. Craigslist is a good place to find those. There ought to be some summer sublets from people who have academic year commitments, then leave town for the summer or are moving but still have a lease that runs longer.

Lol I understand this entirely. I'm about to relocate to the deep south to live with my girlfriend and we're dealing with difficult employment and overpriced apartment rates as well. It's difficult out there, I hope he can find a better paying job . My thoughts on Missouri: it's not horrible, I've driven through it several times, I'd say it's better than most eastern landlocked states. It's got some interesting topography as well.

I find this button comforting:

http://make-everything-ok.com/

Nah he has to be out of his current apartment by the 1st of May, then he was going to stay on my brothers couch...or maybe set up his bed in the garage or something for that month to save up rather then paying full rent(he will still help my brother with the rent or whatever as not to freeload). So then at the end of may we're hoping he and I will have enough to afford first months rent and a deposit as well as being able to afford to keep paying rent.

But yeah it wouldn't be a bad idea to look at the sublets, as it is probably about that time of year...but even aside from that we'll still have a month to look at housing ads/oppurtunities which isn't so bad.