[RANT] Loser Insisting That We Take Her In.

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Here's the situation. My wife and I have taken in relatives who might otherwise have been homeless, helped them get back on their feet, and seen them off to living better than they were before. These people had potential, and they wanted to get up and out of poverty. We don't take in deadbeats, parasites, people who lack ambition, and other similar "losers".

A second cousin, once removed, is now asking us to take her in after thoroughly wearing out her welcome with her brother, her sister, and even her widowed mother. This girl dropped out of school to spend more time with her boyfriend, who is already married and has kids of his own. She wants to move in with us, and has even told us that her boyfriend would be spending a few nights each week with her. Her boyfriend also has a police record for burglary and larceny. No way will he ever be welcome in our house.

She has offered to pay us rent, even though she has no job, and relies on her relatives to pay her bills. She has offered to work for us as a housekeeper, even though she refuses to do any household chores for her mother or siblings.

She has a bipolar disorder (so she says), and that this is what prevents her from working (so she says). Every individual that I've personally known to have a bipolar disorder has caused trouble for me, either with towering rage or deep depression. We've never seen either of these behaviors from her, nor have we ever seen any of the prescriptions that she claims to be on.

My wife and I have made it clear that her boyfriend is not welcome in our home, ever; that her lack of reliable income makes her promise of paying rent unreliable, as well; that a person whose BPD is so severe that he or she cannot handle employment or school means to us that she cannot handle being responsible for domestic work, either; and that because she has no other ambition than to be mistress to her married boyfriend, she would never reach that point of moving out and living on her own.

She dismisses these arguments, saying that because we've taken in others, we should also take her in. We counter that argument by saying that we've taken in only those people who wanted to make something of themselves by getting an education, getting a job, and getting a place of their own.

She say that her personal life is no one else's business, and that she should be allowed to have friends over whenever she wants. We counter that by saying that at least one of her friends is untrustworthy, in that he has a criminal record for burglary and larceny, and that whatever happens under our roof is definately our business.

She still insists that we should take her in, simply because we've taken in other people.

This woman is in her early 30s, and even her siblings and mother are getting tired of her. She's lazy, spoiled, and has an over-reaching sense of entitlement. She expects her relatives to cater to her and to support her, no matter what. Most of her other relatives have stopped listening to her. She has run out of options, and is nagging us for support.

Everyone seems to agree that it's about time that she grew up and began responsibly managing her own life - everyone except her, of course.

Anyway, this is just a rant. It is not an indictment against poor people, people with BPDs, or people that provide the means for married men to cheat on their wives. This is an indictment against one person who feels that the world owes her support for just being alive.

Thank you.

I don't know why you even have to argue with her. No way in hell would I take in someone like that. Ever. No matter how well off I was.

If she's disabled, she should apply to get disability and get government assistance. I wouldn't take in someone dating a married man either. Unless they were separated. It's immoral, in my opinion. And no way would I ever let her boyfriend in my house. Not even once.

Why doesn't her married boyfriend pay for her to have an apartment? If he's not able to, maybe she should find a married boyfriend with more money.

Yes, I'm being very judgmental. But I don't care.

Hey Fnord.

Reading about her is already giving me a headache. It seems to me that if/when you and your wife tell her "no", she'll find someone else to mooch off of.

Nope...I wouldn't let her in.

A potential for disaster.

Two more mouths to feed--because the boyfriend is going to be around quite a bit, it seems.

You are by no means morally or legally obligated to take her in, and I hope that based on the 'rant' that you have not taken her in and that is just letting off steam.
If you have kids under 18 than it is my belief that you legally and morally obligated to ensure they are safe and if this person is wanting to introduce a criminal element into your home and posing a risk to your home and kids, that person should not be even considered.
Just my two cents, this and 2.50 gets you a cup of coffee.

No, don't let her in.

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Howdy. I read only half of your "rant" and I say......

Bad, Bad Kitty!

LOL

s**t like this is why most landlords absolutely REFUSE to rent to poor people and people on welfare. I was mentioning this to my mom a couple months ago-the "genteel poor" is a thing of the past, in general. Most of today's poor are overly entitled, often on dope, have no money for food since they'd rather buy lotto tickets and Xbox games, and so on. Sure, you may find the oddball poor guy who is a good person, but if you have a gun with five bullets out of six, do you really want to spin the chamber and pull the trigger? It seems that 20 years ago landlords were more accommodating to the poor, but those days are GONE. And with good reason.

Geez....some people sure have a sense of entitlement! Seems they're taking advantage of you and your wife's hospitality. Stand your ground, Fnord. Makes you wonder what becomes of people like that when they run out of options....

Thanks, people! I don't feel so bad now for turning down her request. My wife still feels apologetic (even though she also turned that woman down); but in private, her words echo the sentiments that have already been expressed here.

I can't believe she has the nerve to argue with you about her not being welcome. You don't have to argue anything out with her. "No," is enough.

I wouldn't take her in...I bet she's manipulative to, I mean if somehow she's convinced her relatives to pay all of her bills and never keeps her word about doing housekeeping and they've all had to throw her out. Why doesn't her boyfriend have her move in with him?...oh he's married to another women who might not like that, well maybe he shouldn't be cheating and maybe she shouldn't be with a scumbag who's cheating on his wife he's got kids with sounds this woman and him deserve each other. Really doesn't sound like your problem, and if you want to keep it that way I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole let alone have it live in my house...by it I mean her combined with the storm of drama and baggage it sounds like she'd bring with.

It seems like you are being fair

You know I take in my kids friends as teens and twenty somethings from time to time and have been bit in the ass by it a few times and had to kick them.out. Bit not even soft hearted old olive would touch that one.

Stand tall Fnord. Not no. Hell no. You're right on this and have no reason to feel bad. Put your foot down so she can move on to the next mark and there is always one. No.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

She sounds like the type that might sell your stuff.

And the boyfriend, too.