worry without end

Post Reply New Topic

I get these thoughts stuck in my head and they are constantly there for days or weeks or months. Often they are irrational but they are always possible and feel terribly true and immediate.

Sometimes they are thoughts of suicide, with or without depression.

Sometimes it is questioning whether I'm real.

Questioning whether I'm insane.

Feeling that normal everyday functions (sleeping, eating) are going to harm or kill me, or they are make-believe, or I don't deserve them. Extreme measures to avoid them and the associated anxiety.

Right now it's the thought that I will do something terrible in the future. I want to work with animals but keep thinking I would cause them harm (when that is the last thing I ever, ever want to do -- I want to do just the opposite) and I'll lose control of myself and not be able to prevent myself from causing bad things.This turns into thinking I have to find a job away from animals or people where I'll be miserable and at worst to thoughts that I need to die to protect other beings from myself.Sometimes I am consumed by the premonition that I am going to die soon.

I don't know how to make it stop. I don't feel in control of my own thoughts.

I have had that sort of thing happening to me too to an extent. I have had a lot of intrustve thoughts, the most common one being to destroy my phone in some way but in general the worse the consequence of an action the stronger the urge to do it. My brain is like "Hey, you should do this horrible thing. It would be so easy and it would make a huge impact on your life.". Fortunately I have only ever acted on an intrusive thought like this once when I dropped one of my huge Lego sets off a second story, although I have been afraid that I will act on these thoughts many times.

From my experience, they come and go waves. Right now for me they are declining in frequency and intensity again and I don't expect them to return for at least a few months.

Hi, I can assure you that you are real because I read and understand what you wrote. Does any sort of soothing music or meditation or prayer help to make the intrusive thoughts go away? If you want to work with animals, go for it! I am sure that the good you will do them will outweigh any harm you might accidentally do. We live in an imperfect world and that's not your fault, it's just the way it is. Even the most skilled physician or vetrenarian can't save the life of every single patient they have. But the times they are able to help are much more than the times they fail. Do you have any animals now?

You should really seek treatment for this, professional treatment. Therapy, medication, both. You haven't figured it out on your own yet. There's lots of good help out there. This sounds like a serious problem and is more than just a 'buck up' sort of thing. And it's important to get your mental health on track. Your health is the most important thing you have.