Hypersensitivity / Pain / Alcohol - Seeking Advice

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I'm in a tough situation at the moment. I've always had problems with hypersensitivity and I go into sensory overload shutdowns and meltdowns fairly often (once a week or so). Not long ago I realized I was an alcoholic, and I decided to stop drinking. I was never a heavy drinker - one or two beers per day on average - but whenever I didn't drink, I had awful problems the next day, and whenever I went out to a party or something and had one drink (maybe once a month or so), I craved more and more and more, always winding up wasted and sick the next day. It seemed like the best course of action was to just stop drinking altogether and let my body get to a healthier state.

It's been five and a half weeks now that I haven't had a drink. The first few weeks were hell. Serious withdrawal. I had to take several days out of work to stay home because of the detox. Finally, that part passed, and I moved on to just wanting to drink all the time. I did some research and found out that pretty universally, when alcoholics quit drinking, after the first month at most they start to feel better. It gets easier, the cravings go away, they start sleeping better and feeling healthier overall.

This has not happened for me at all. I have a sleep disorder (not fully diagnosed but my doctor said she thinks it's narcolepsy based on symptoms - unfortunately the insurance company won't pay for full diagnosis so I have no treatment), so I will never sleep properly whether I drink or not. I have zero energy. I'm exhausted all the time. Caffeine does nothing. Alcohol always gave me energy, but that's gone now. I have zero motivation. I don't even feel like playing video games anymore, and that's a huge deal for me. Video games are how I've always released stress, calmed down, relaxed. I just don't feel like it. I'm too depressed to bother. And I'm still craving alcohol.

I've been trying to be more active, but I'm severely limited when it comes to exercise due to various health problems (I really hit the jackpot with my DNA). I have a breathing problem that can't be treated and issues with many of my joints. No running, no lifting, not even push-ups allowed. I do simple calisthenics once or twice a day, I walk all the time (usually more than an hour per day), and I try to play Kinect games on my X-box to get some more exercise, but it doesn't seem to help at all. I'm still exhausted all the time. I feel like crap no matter what I do.

The worst part is the hypersensitivity. The alcohol helped to suppress it a bit, but now it's on full blast. My eyes hurt just from looking at this dimmed computer screen (lowest brightness setting PLUS f.lux running to remove the blue light). My ears are screaming with pain and my tinnitus is on full blast. My head hurts. I'm dizzy. I feel like I have bees in my head. There are so many things that I need to get done, and I can't do any of them.

I just don't know what I should do. I know alcohol is unhealthy in the long term. I'll always be an alcoholic whether I drink or not and if I start again I'll be right back where I was before. But I don't know what to do. I don't know how else to dull the hypersensitivity and numb the pain to a tolerable level. I can't even work like this. It hurts too much to concentrate. I keep thinking that if I hold on just a little longer, it will surely get easier. But as time goes on, I'm losing faith that it will ever get any better. I'm not hypersensitive due to alcohol withdrawal, I'm just hypersensitive and I always have been.

But I don't want to end up like my mother, downing one or two bottles of wine every afternoon. I don't want to pickle my liver. I want to be able to go out and have a drink with my friends without feeling like I need more and more and more.

Does anyone know of any other tricks for reducing pain from hypersensitivity? Antidepressants are out - tried a few of those in the past and they made me dangerously manic. Plus my insurance won't pay for any medication. I've tried using cannabis now and then, but it doesn't really help and it only makes me sleepier. I'm open to any advice here. I honestly don't expect that any of you will have any ideas that I haven't already tried, but I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that I'm wrong about that, because if I don't find another answer, I'm going to have to start drinking again. It might be the only way I can remain independent and keep living a stable life.

Thanks guys.

withdrawal sucks. stick with it. it may take awhile before it improves, but is will. pretty much what is happening is this. as we use substances such as alcohol the following happen from prolonged use. Depressants in the brain from alcohol make the brain pump natural anti-depressants into the brain to counteract the depressants which make us feel good. after this happens over months and years when we stop our brain is used to working to counteract the depressants and when those are gone the brain has to rewire it's chemical balancing skills. this can take a long time and with alcohol it can be up to 6 months or longer, but a relapse resets this reboot so to speak. the side effects are the opposite of the brains reaction to the depressants. so you have less dopamine and serotonin in the brain and it may take a while for this to go back to normal. but hang in there. I would definitely talk to people to help you through it because the withdrawals from alcohol are a beast to get through.

Drinking will not lead to a stable life.
I quit a couple years ago after over a decade of getting drunk everyday. It took me about a year before I started feeling like my long lost self again. Now, I got my mind back and I wouldn't give that back to alcohol for anything. As I sobered up, all the loud cold needles of discomfort smothered me like a prickley metal blanket. I tried to describe it as walking down the shoulder of an interstate highway. Getting sober felt like I had jumped from a moving car and was stuck walking naked while everybody else was flying past in comfort, blasting me with dirt and fumes. This will all pass and you will feel good again. Stick with it.

It does get easier. Not in a month like I was also told. But the time will pass and you will be glad you did not give in to urges to drink. This is the honest truth.

Stretching out all my body helps me deal with stress and anxiety.
Walks.
Tea.
Earplugs give me a special kind of peace.
No caffeine after noon.
Try sleeping in different rooms or directions until you find what is best for you.
I discovered that I like to pack myself with pillows along my sides and I sleep better.

Sleep will do a lot of good for you if you can figure out what works for you.

Do not give up.
Please ask me if you have any questions about what getting sober is like. I would be happy to share more but I go on and on too much too often and have to tell myself to cut it short.

Stop the caffeine stimulants aren't going to help. btw going cold turkey on caffeine will also cause a hangover like effect done that my self wasn't nice :S lasted about 2 weeks when I did it but I drank about 10+ cups of coffee/tea a day. When I did it (about 10 years ago now) I just swapped to filtered water.

If the alcohol reduced your sensitivity maybe something to help dampen your nervous system will help? But I have no idea what on that and it probably would be prescription only.

_________________
( If I ignore a reply it's not intentional I get distracted, send me a PM to prompt me )

Oh hon... I hear you, loud and clear. I saw your post over in the counselling thread, and it inspired me to post my own, because what you're going through reminded me so much of my early recovery. It's been a while since your post, so I hope you're doing a little better at least... but yeah, life without the anesthetic is rough. I don't have much to add to the suggestions above, other than yoga or meditation or some other sort of mindfulness practice (centering prayer, which is a Christian contemplative practice, is saving my last marble right now), and possibly Alcoholics Anonymous... although your mileage may vary on that one (I was incredibly lucky with the people who first introduced me to AA).

Feel free to PM me anytime if you want any more specifics - and hang in there, because it DOES get better, even if it takes longer than some say. After all, when a problem drinker quits drinking, the problem goes away, but when an alcoholic quits drinking, the s**t really hits the fan

Alcohol is often used as a solution and then causes problems.

Withdrawal ain't pretty as you mentioned. There is withdrawal and then post acute withdrawal. Some say a month for every year of drinking. Sleep changes are part of the process. So is irritation anger and more meltdowns for some.
Support groups can help.

What was the withdrawal? Strong cravings?

I’m giving in now and then but trying my hardest to go sober 95% of the time. Like, if I choose to drink, it won’t be as bad as before and I have better peace of mind on sober days. Being a non-drinker is easier when you say it’s for today and maybe on day 8 you’ll maybe allow yourself some drinks, or may not even want those drinks.

Alcohol may seem to energize you, but it’s just your reward system going off. In reality, seeing you’re here, nothing good is coming out of it. It’s just your lizard brain convincing you it’s helped you, when you’d be better off making sober changes/learning to cope sober.

If you want to have a drink eventually, it takes practice. I think of it as taking control of my own mind, instead of the addictive voice having control over me, which I call The Enemy who doesn’t care if I die a drunk. It’s self-control.

Hope that if you ever reread this thread you started in February, you're still not drinking.
I'd be curious.
I'm only 3 weeks off right know. No idea where I will be around July. (especially when I visit beer drinking country no. 1 Czech Republic by then, mentioned in your profile)