I am a mess right now

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I am in an unbearable state right now. I'm approaching the last couple of months in my first year of university doing Occupational therapy. It hasn't been an easy ride to say the least. Many times I've questioned if this is for me but scared stiff wondering what on earth else I could do I just tried to console myself with trying to get to the end of the course and telling myself I'd at least have a degree and didn't actually have to work in OT once I'd graduated. The past couple of months I've finally been brave enough to actually try to consider other options because I'm realising that I really don't know if my heart is in this occupational therapy course and potential career and I'm really don't know if it's for me. I do not think it's right to continue putting myself through something simply because I find it so hard to cope with change and am scared of doing so and not yet having decided on an alternative path that I could take. But what else can I do?
I had osteopath yesterday and had to explain why my neck/shoulders have been so bad and I said that I'd been seriously thinking that OT might not be for me and was thinking of a different course, or trying to think what else I could do and he asked me some questions about my skills and interests and he said that with those in mind and as he's gotten to know me a bit more he could actually see me doing something like an electrician or mechanic. They are both things I'd never really thought of, the second one, although I like taking things apart, fixing them, getting a bit dirty, I would say no to and the way cars are going I don't think it's much of an option for anyone but the first one had actually made me think.. The only thing that would really make me think I might not be able to do it is the way my anxiety manifests physically and that might make it difficult but if it's something I'm happy in then maybe it would be better....

Sorry to hear you are struggling. Is your college strictly OT? If not, why not take a semester of all different kind of classes and see if you like anything. OT is a hard major, they are not all as stressful. I used to be a biology major but I switched to social sciences and it has been much easier. I know change is easy for us on the spectrum, but I think you will find it was worth it.

Hi, Have you ever taken one of those aptitude tests that are designed to find out what jobs would suit you best? Personally, I could not be an OT because it would involve too much people contact for me. What about an audiologist? You would have some contact with people but mainly you put them in a soundproof booth and test their hearing. Then you fit them with hearing aids that are tuned to the frequencies they need amplified. Just a suggestion. That would be an occupation where you are helping people like OT, but it would be minimal contact with them.

Going into a trade is really not a bad idea. Plumbers, electricians, ventilation and A/C installers, welders, pool maintenance, home inspectors, carpenters, construction of all types, roofers, the list goes on. A lot of these people can work their own hours and be their own business too, the pay can be quite good, don't need any sort of social skills, just need to be able to communicate to co-workers (if you have any) what they will need to do. All the electronics/powered things we have need people to be able to repair them. They are also in demand; you will not go unneeded.

The way it works in the UK is that unless you're doing a joint honours degree, you only study in your chosen subject, so in my case I should be studying Occupational therapy for 3 years, after which I'd be a qualified OT.
There are other courses but only 1 I might be interested in but I really don't know if I'd just be setting myself up to find myself in a similar position down the line, and I'm really questioning whether higher education/university is really for me at all. It's not that I'm not smart enough, it's just too much for me, especially such a socially orientated course as OT.
I think right now my mind seems quite focused on something like electrician work. I've been looking online at apprenticeships. I think it would concern me though that however suited I might be to the type of work and whatever strengths I have, there are still aspects of my autism, particularly around anxiety that can present a huge challenge for me to manage and no employer wants that

So here's where I'm at: I have now met with my personal tutor and discussed me withdrawing from the course and have also met with my university's careers advice service. The plan from now is:

1. Try to research more about the Biosciences course and options for getting on to it (which I think I'm going to need some help with but I'm seeing my mentor today so hopefully she'll be able to help a bit with that).

2. Look further into apprenticeships (I emailed the careers guy at my uni that I saw yesterday about some support in doing this, particularly in light of my AS and he said to book another 1-1 appt with him and he would do his best to point me in the right direction as it's not his area of expertise).

3. I won’t be finishing the year but I will be finishing two of our current modules (essay due next week and one essay due 23 of this month) because one it will buy me some time in terms of technically still being a student so if I switched courses I'd be able to transfer internally as opposed to reapplying externally and it also means that I'd have 80 credits to potentially transfer or use for entry onto the biosciences course if that's the route I want to pursue. It also just buys me a bit of time to sort things out a bit more before they finalise my withdrawal.

It seems like you really thought this out.

I have. I am now wondering how on earth I make the right decision between pursuing the biosciences course or electrician apprenticeship.