Struggling with college again/ afraid of things that aren't

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Im having a lot of trouble being around students at college now. I'd rather just work alone but I can't. I can't even pass as an NT girl anymore right now. I can't look anyone in the eye of talk to them properly. The students don't know I'm an aspiring but I'm sure they think I have problems. I don't always stay in lesson, I get from the tutor what I must do and then leave because I get nervous. I don't feel like a real person and I'm worried that if people know that they could attack me. I've been afraid that people would turn on me and attack me for years but only a little bit, it gets worse sometimes.

The way I think of others and the world is so different because nobody else is worried about everyone wanting to attack them. I'm also sometimes worried about being tracked and spied on.

I do know the things I'm worried about likely will never happen and aren't true but I can't just drop it and change. I don't have another way of thinking to replace it with. I tend to only think that way if I'm confused or not comfortable in a situation. When I'm at work for example Im okay.

This is causing so much trouble because I'm struggling to get my work done to a good level and I missed practical tests. Today I'm going to see a support worker who is going to help me with socialising, maybe I'll show her this.

Hi there. I've noticed nobody has responded so I'd like to chime in.

It may not seem it, but there are people worried about privacy invasion like myself. Groups like Liberty in the UK are always trying to bring attention to things that threaten human privacy, as well as leaks from people like Edward Snowden. It's just that there is a lot of apathy from people about political issues like this, especially outside of politics and institutions like universities. On that basis, you are right to be worried. You're not alone As for physical attacks, the media really do amplify it, especially when an elderly or disabled person is the victim.

With that said, this way of thinking sounds like it's a coping mechanism for stress due to the social aspect of college, and the stress of this is affecting your work. Your support worker should be able to help as long as you are honest with them. It's okay not to talk to anyone though if you aren't able to - chances are once you leave college you won't see or hear from them ever again, with your name being a distant memory to them. And if people do anything negative to you like attack you it's not a reflection of you, rather it's a reflection of them. That's a good way of looking at it.

I apologise if this isn't very helpful but I hope things get better for you. What are you aspiring to be?

Have you seen a medical professional about this? You might actually be developing schizophrenia. On the other hand maybe you have schizotypal personality disorder or something. Since you describe your thoughts as things that get in the way of your ability to function in the world, now's exactly the right time to seek professional help, before it gets out of hand or brings you down for years needlessly. Earlier wouldn't have made sense either, as it was not preventing you from functioning.

I can relate a lot, going back to school this past fall was very hard for me and weighed on me considerably to the point that I didn't sign up for full time in the spring(really sucks when one of those 2 classes get canceled) It was all pervasive paranoia to the point where I couldn't have any sort of normal socialization going on, I'm sure people thought I was nuts and me snapping at the teacher and walking out of class a few times didn't help(to their credit they were pretty understanding) Thing accumulate and the pressure builds until it explodes, it doesn't even have to be what is really bothering which unfortunately makes people think I am mean and nasty but probably just more crazy. Anxiety medication helped a bit, just having peer supports or any type of support is something to hold on too. The disability office at my school really didn't do anything for me besides give me test accommodations which I probably don't really need since it's the class not the tests that bother me. I just can't feel confident, I just don't have the self-esteem to put myself around 'normal people' my age. My experience here in the US has been that the military veterans are usually way cooler and friendly than the kids coming straight from high school or wherever.