Struggling a Bit

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Lots of change ... my opium taking roommates have left. I couldn't deal with the behaviour of the guy. He was a Jekyll and Hyde. I told the landlord about it and he had a chat with him resulting in the guy leaving yesterday. I am really glad he is gone as his Hyde was a scary one. I was torn about contacting the landlord as I knew it would result in his departure. So a bit of guilt there. But I couldn't live in fear. The girl ended up leaving too. I'm not sure why. So right now I'm the only one in the basement. Another guy is supposed to move in today.
I find all this is not good for my mental stability. I am seeing my doctor tomorrow for a prescription renewal and I will talk to her about my issues. I kinda had a self-harming episode a week ago and burned my hand and fell and broke my nose because I'd taken too many pills.
I wish I didn't resort to self-destructive behaviour so easily. I have to work on that. I want to see a psychiatrist, but mine has retired and I'm on the list for his replacement, but that's not happening any time soon.
Anyway, things are calmer now and I am starting to recover. Surprisingly I have been continuing to work on my course which is going well.

You are a strong person who can deal with anything, even if you sometimes think you can't.

That's what I admire about you

When you get knocked down seven times, you get back up eight times.

That is some wicked resilience you have there.

I'm fortunate to have never had horrible roommates. But I still don't really like shared accomodation unless it's family or a good friend. And even then I've heard so many things about people starting living together as friends then when they go their separate ways they no longer are.

It seems like you are waiting a long time to see a psychiatrist, are there any low cost counseling services you could access in the interim? Living with strangers can be quite difficult, but that guy seemed like a bad egg, I'm glad he is gone, you done the right thing, I hope the new one is a quiet type. Its good that you have your studies to focus on, you must be enjoying it?

Have you ever tried seeing a peer support worker before? Here you can see them twice a week if you want every week, to have someone to talk to and support you. Peer support workers all have their own experiences with mental illnesses, so you could prolly find one you get along with and click with. The wait lists are usually way shorter than any other mental health worker in Ontario. They are free and covered by OHIP.

Thanks

It's best if everyone keeps to themselves, I think. Friendships complicate things.

Yes. It's going well. Learning the medical technology is like learning a new language. Fortunately I studied Latin before.
I felt really bad about contacting the landlord about him, but if I didn't I would have had to move again and I don't think I could take that.


I'll have to look into that. It's useful to have someone to talk to.

It is very peaceful here now that there is no one else in the other rooms. It'll be interesting to meet the new guy soon. I have hung up some more pictures.

Ouch! So sorry to hear about the broken nose. Change of any kind is hard for me. When I was a kid, my parents got a new couch and threw out the old one and I cried and cried. I hope the changes happening around you turn out to be good ones. Hope the next guy moving in is a good and easy to get along with person. I hate moving, that is one of the most traumatic things for me. I hope your nose and the burn heal up well.

Comfort Hugs

A broken nose is definitely something you should have gone to the emergency room for. Did you go?

I'm glad that opium smoking dude is gone.

This place seems like it brings out troublesome behaviors. I hope you finish the course soon, so you could get a decent job, and move into a decent place--like the one you had two places ago!

I'm glad you are concentrating on the course.

Thank you aspieinaz, sly and kraftie.

I'm not sure if I set my nose after I fell or if the knock straightened it, but my nose seems straighter now. It still hurts, but the bruising is gone.

The new guy moved in today, but I haven't talked to him yet. I have hooked up wireless at my Mom's and have been doing my course at her place which is nice because she feeds me and the animals are there.

I spoke to my doctor today about seeing a psychiatrist and she is seeing me again in two weeks to do an intake for the adult mental health services. That's where I was before, but my doctor retired so I have to start the whole process over again. Bureaucracy. But at least it's a step forward.

Good, I'm glad you've set the wheels in motion for your intake with the psych folks. I can see how much you are struggling.

I'm glad you have that homework to study, it maybe gives you a little structure as well as a goal.

Is it starting to look like spring where you are? Right now all our blooming trees and shrubs are putting forth colorful displays. I'm loving it.

Yay for steps forward!

I think so too. I remember how you pulled yourself together after running into a nasty person at work. At first you were desperate and thought life was not worth living, and then you managed to just sort out your troubles and move on.

Yes. The peonies will bloom soon. They are my favourite.

Steps forward are good.

Thanks.

Tbh, I am only able to keep functioning with a precisely balanced cocktail of Abilify, Effexor, Seroquel, Gabapentin and marijuana. Lately I have been accepting of my mental illness. Before it was something I thought I could rid myself of, now I realize my victory will come in learning to live with it.

*hadn't known you'd moved again!*



How's things with you, missus?

I agree.

One should pursue alleviating one's symptoms. But one must also accept one's self, despite one having some sort of "illness."