I resently found out that I'm probably autistic

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I'm new here and my english isn't perfect, so if I mess anything important up, just let me know! I just needed some place to vent and this came up. I'm 18 btw, if thats important.

So a few weeks ago I went to psychiatrist (or someone like that) expecting to get diagnosed with some anxiety disorder. The conversation went in a different direction than I had thought and in the middle of it I understood, that that women was basically giving me an aspie quiz. So apparently I'm autistic and it feels very odd.

On one hand, it makes so much sense. I'm kinda monotone and sosially akward. I love routines. I'm really good at some things and very bad at others (there seems to be no in between). I tend to get really into one thing and forget everything else. The list goes on.

On the other hand, I feel like I'm faking this. I have some sensory issues, but nothing uncommong. A lot of my problems with my social life, can be explained away with my anxiety stuff. I figured out that the psychiatrist was asking me questions about autism, so maybe I acted more autistic because of that. My friend (who is autistic) says he doesn't think I'm an aspie. My parents say that I'm acting more autistic than before the conversation.

I feel so lost. Even very progressive people who have looked up to, because they are supportive of lgbtq+ people (me) seem to not get aspie stuff. I don't really get it either. I don't know wich words are okay to use and what I should say when my mom (who works with disabled people) constantly tells me how high functioning I'm.

I feel like faker, but also I feel so free, because this explains so much. I also feel scared, cause I'm not sure if I can take being marginalized in this new way (it's already stressfull being lesbian and metally ill). I don't know how to explain this to anyone and if making friend will be even more impossible to me know. I know I should probably find some aspies to meet face to face, but I'm very really bad at everything involving talking.

Any advice, help or anything is very welcome. I feel so weird right now

You are a person first.

The fact that they think you might be autistic does not lessen you as a person.

Perhaps the psychiatrist or whoever got into autistic territory with you----maybe that's why you might "act autistic."

Whether you have an anxiety disorder, or you're autistic, it doesn't change you as a person. You don't become "someone else" if you happen to be diagnosed with autism.

Are you in university now?

I've heard a lot of autistic people "act more autistic" after they figure it out/get diagnosed. All of a sudden things make sense and people often don't feel the need to mask certain things anymore. There's also people who barely have sensory issues, or have more hyposensitivities than hypersensitivities and don't realize those also "count" as a sensory issue (I was one of those people).

I also want to add that when I got denied a diagnosis at 16, and was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder instead, I put down all of my issues as just "anxiety". After realizing I am definitely autistic I noticed a lot of my seemingly unnecessary anxiety is based on issues due to my autism (not being able to handle change, getting overwhelmed in public, finding social situations stressful because I don't know what to do in them, getting upset when my routines are messed with, etc.). Just because you have a lot of anxiety doesn't mean that you're not autistic, and it's possible that the anxiety is caused from not knowing how to cope with certain aspects of your autism.

Signs, symptoms, traits etc can vary quite widely between people on the spectrum - some traits can be polar opposites, even. So, your friend on the spectrum may not recognize your traits if they're viewing you through the lens of their own symptoms for comparison. That doesn't mean you're not on the spectrum. Also, it's a spectrum.. you may very well be extremely high functioning & still on the spectrum.

I, too, and very high functioning AS and gay. Yep, it's more to deal with than the average person that's for sure. But, whatever, is what it is.. no choice but to just roll with it all, really.

_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Think yourself lucky that you managed to slip through the cracks whilst growing up in the 21st century. Trust me, having a diagnosis in childhood is hell. As an adult you have the opportunity to get a diagnosis if you want and it's all down to you what you choose to do with your diagnosis (who you want it disclosed to and who you don't). If only I had that chance.

Welcome to Wrong Planet btw.....

Minustakin tuntui aikalailla samalta kun sain diagnoosin ensimmaista kertaa...

Jos kaipaat juttuseuraa missaan vaiheessa niin laita vain viestia

Tervetuloa kerhoon!

Welcome to the club!